Love This....

Seriously, this kid is amazing. Love his voice, and his style!

Slowing Down

When I was in high school, I learned how to drive. I also got the use of a car. My dad would ride his bike to work everyday so that I could use our car. There were a couple of routes I could take to get home from school, and one of these routes had a lot of intense speed bumps. One day, as I was going over these speed bumps, I forgot to slow down. I was going quite fast, and discovered that if I was at the right speed, the car would fly over the bumps and you wouldn't even feel the bump. I soon started taking this route home everyday because it was so much fun. However, one day, I was taught how bad this was for your vehicle. I was told all the things it can do to wear down on the car. I soon realized that if I was going to keep using my dad's car, I should probably treat it right. I starting taking other ways home, and I slowed down when going over speed bumps. 

This is a pattern I've started to notice in my life. Either when something stressful comes up, or life starts to get hard, I take it super fast. I am not very patient. I speed through things as fast as possible without really taking a look around to see what's happening. I took no thought as to what this did to me. I didn't realize the damage it was doing to my relationships, with God, with my family, with others, and with myself. I now know this needs to change. 

In President Uchtdorf's talk in this last conference, he talked about the need to slow down, to get back to the basics. As I'm starting my new job, I know I'm going to be stressed. I know this is going to bring a lot of challenges that I know I can handle, even though at first they may seem unconquerable. I know that by slowing down and by focusing on the little things, that will give me a foundation strong enough to accomplish whatever I set my mind to. It will all be through Him. 

It's Here!

Remember the change that I was talking about a while back? How I could feel it coming in my life? Well it's official, a major change is here. Granted, I brought this change upon myself, but still, it's here, and it's big. You ready? Drum roll please.........

I ACCEPTED A JOB OFFER TODAY!!!!

That's right, I put in my 2 weeks notice and I am starting a new job. I go in to meet with them tomorrow to get started with paperwork and all that. They want me to start as soon as possible. I am going to finish up working here and get everything in order so that they have a good foundation to go on for next year.

I don't want to say too much about this place yet, but it's going to be awesome. They have an indoor FlowRider (that's what initially attracted me to the place) as well as a lot of other attractions. It's going to be a huge family fun center. They have offered me a full time position with benefits, so I had to go to it. Not only that, I will be getting in on the ground floor and will be opening everything from scratch, again. I truly am blessed. I will have more experience than most in a lot of ways and I've only been graduated from college for a year! It's crazy, and oh so exciting, but I'm going to miss the pool so much... I guess I'll just have to visit next year. :)

Becoming Me

Conference talks are now online in text! Yay! I have been waiting for these. I love to listen to the words of the prophets and I full plan on downloading the talks to put on my iPod (this is almost perfectly timed for my drive to and from work). And while hearing the words spoken invokes a certain spirit, I am so much more of a visual learner. I have been waiting for the text version all week, and it's here! Tonight I took the opportunity to re-read the talk that stuck out the most to me all of conference. I was actually in the conference center for this talk, and I loved it while I was there. I read Elder Scott's talk tonight. It is entitled, The Transforming Power of Faith and Character. This talk spoke to me for so many reasons, the simplicity of that which he spoke about was one of them. The first principle of the gospel is Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Faith is a topic that you can never learn enough about. But tonight there is just one quote from the talk that really stuck out to me.

"We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day."

I may have aspirations to become something or someone, but just because I think about it, doesn't mean something is going to click in my brain and I'm automatically going to become that person. It doesn't work that way. I need to put a plan in place. I need to become that person I want to be. I need to start living the life that I want to have. I had thought this before, but never so eloquently. I had never actually put words to the thought. So now, I am going to formulate a plan. I am going to start working on me. I am going to live the life of the person I want to be. I know I won't be perfect. But no one is. I do know that by striving for this ideal, I will get better everyday. I will make small improvements that slowly mold me into the person that my Heavenly Father has in store for me to be. I know He has a plan for me and I want to become the daughter that He knows I am. I want to be ready for His plan.

Love

"Love is never wasted, for it's value does not rest upon reciprocity." ~ Neal A. Maxwell

I signed onto Facebook the other day and was greeted by that quote. I have come to love this quote. If ever I have felt like I have misplaced my love, I am now rebuked. I know that any love I give to another person is never misplaced. Love is real. Love needs to be given. Others need to feel love. Even if they don't return the feeling, they need to feel the Love of others. Thank you Neal A Maxwell. I will never hesitate to give love again.

Tender Mercies

I have had a few tender mercies in my life lately. There have been a few people that felt the need to just drop me a little note letting me know that they had noticed my efforts and appreciated what I was doing. 

In 1 Nephi 1:20 it reads, "But behold I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance. 

I have been pondering on this verse along with the talk that Elder Bednar gave a couple years ago on the principle of tender mercies. Because I have been going through a small trial, I have been asking for comfort and love to be sent my way. I have always known that Heavenly Father helps us most through other people, and I don't know if I have been more open to this now or what, but I have been seeing His love manifest so strongly.

While I have been thinking about this principle, I had a song pop into my head. Songs have been sticking out in my head a lot lately (in case you hadn't noticed). I feel like the Spirit reaffirms so much in our lives through he testimony of music. Lyrics, if uplifting, can be a powerful witness of truth. This particular song is called Tender Mercies by Michael McLean. I have chosen to only include the last verse and chorus, but the whole song is amazing. 

If you're out there listening and wondering why, You get a feeling inside you that makes you want to cry. Perhaps you're reminded of a memory or two, When God's tender mercies were given to you. But then maybe you're thinking this hurts too much, With unanswered prayers you feel so out if touch. I wish I could be there and help you hold on, 'Til that day when your heart can't help singing this song. I know you'll sing it strong. A tender mercy has come to me, It came from Heaven I do believe. Maybe why I was chosen, Is because I was chose to see, It seems like whenever I choose to see, God's tender mercies are for those who believe, Tender mercies are for you and me.

I know the Lord loves me enough that He sends me tender mercies to let me know. His love for me so so encompassing that He is always wanting to show me. I pray that I am always worthy enough to have the Holy Ghost with me so that I can see and feel His efforts to give me Love. 

What Heaven Sees In Me

Sent to this earth, you were saved through the ages for this day and time. Child of great worth, child of promise, daughter of the Divine. Pure and holy in a little white dress, you were held in a circle and you were blessed. And the Father looked down, and the angels surrounded that place, they knew the truth, all that you could do. And you will too, if you have eyes to see, what heaven sees in you. 

Dressed in white once more, making promises to follow in God's way. So much lies in store, for the little girl who enters at the gate. Pure and holy on a little, white dress, you were led into the water and you were blessed. And the Father looked down, and the angels surrounded that place. They knew the truth, all that you could do, and you will too, if you have eyes to see, what heaven sees in you. 

Do you understand who you are? Part of the Father lives in you. And if you continue on this path, every promise God has given will come true. 

Heaven on earth. In the house of God, so much fills your heart and mind. Woman of great worth, woman of promise, daughter of the Divine. Pure and holy in long, white dress. You promise forever and you are blessed. And the Father looks down, and the angels surround that place. They knew the truth, all that you can do. And you do too, cause you have eyes to see, what heaven sees in you. 

Will you have eyes to see, what Heaven sees in you?

This song has been on my mind a lot lately. The first time it hit me was Saturday night. I was driving back from a friends house. I had just dropped her off after conference. This song came on my iPod and I was singing softly along, barely recognizing what I was singing. And then it hit me, I can still clearly remember where I realized it. I started the song over and really sang along this time. As I sang, I could hear myself baring my testimony of the truth contained in these lyrics. And while I'm not to the point where I am in my long white dress yet, I know that I am a woman of great worth. I don't fully know everything that Heaven sees in me, but I am beginning to understand. 

I know that I have so much potential in this life. But none of it will be my own doing. I am an instrument in the hands of the Lord. Everything I accomplish in this life will through Him. And everything will be for the good of His plan. I know I am a Divine daughter of my Heavenly Father. I know that He sees me as so much more than I see myself. I only pray that I can keep myself open to understand what He needs from me. 

Farewell

Last night I said goodbye to you, my best friend. Things weren't right, and so we had to walk away. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through in my life. Despite the pain, the tears I was crying in your presence were for an entirely different reason. The Spirit was so strong and so present for this conversation. We just talked through everything. And a lot of realizations were made. There were a lot of spiritual developments made. While I know the pain is necessary, I also know that there is a reason for it. We were in each others life for a reason. We were there to help each other through some struggles. There was a purpose we served. You taught me I could trust. You taught me I could love and give myself completely to another person. I've never been able to do that before. I never knew there would be a person that would make me want to do that. You also helped me realize exactly what I'm looking for in an eternal mate. I'm sure there is more, but I feel so much closer. I mean, I want you, but right now that isn't a possibility. Somewhere deep inside me, there is a place that knows that we are going to end up together, but as of right now it's not happening, so I'm moving on. I'll get over you. 

I made a realization last night about the life before this one. I know that I knew you before. There was a reason you and I clicked so fast. I felt like I knew you from the beginning. And now I feel like I've known you my whole life. It was an amazing realization last night. 

I also realized how much I'm going to be okay. While I hurt, I'm not alone, I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and a Savior who has felt this. I am not alone. While I may be physically very alone right now, spiritually I am not. I think this happening on General Conference weekend was a very good think. I was spiritually feed, and so were you. We were both in the best place possible for this to happen. I am so glad you were able to let me know and to free me. Thank you for that. And thank you for everything you are in my life. I love you, and miss you. But I am okay. 

Timing

Today I got the opportunity to go General Conference. I’ve been going through a rough time lately, last night brought everything to a major point of me having to deal with it. That could not have been better timing. I have been looking forward to GC for months. I love that I get the chance to go to the conference center every 6 months and listen to the voice of the prophets. Today was no exception. I had a few tickets, so I invited one of my best friends to come along with me. She agreed, and then asked if she could bring her boyfriend along. I totally agreed because I thought I’d have more people coming along with me. Every person I asked said they would come and then had to back out. It was a little disappointing, and then I realized I was going to be a major 3rd wheel with a very happy couple. I was starting to get a little anxious about this. Part of the reason I’ve been having such a hard time is because of a boy. I want to be a happy couple, but we aren’t. We aren’t even a couple at this point. So I was going to be watching them in all their bliss.

This morning, I had a change of opinion though. I realized how selfish I was being. Here I was, wallowing in self pity, and one of my good friends is absolutely happy. And this is my first time I get to see them together. I have known this girl, Non for 20+ years. She has always been a part of my life. We both meet C, her boyfriend, for the first time 4 years ago. They were reintroduced and now they are so happy.

I was struck with such a strong impression today as I was thinking about them. The Lord is ultimately in charge, and this is all done on His timing. Everything is completely on His time. While I may want something (or someone) bad, what matters in the long run is when it’s right in the Lord’s timing. I know that I’m going to be okay. I may be in pain currently, but it’s totally worth it. This is totally worth it, because someday, when I meet that bliss, when I meet that person that makes me so happy, and it’s returned on his end. It’s going to be so much sweeter. I am feeling this pain now in order to feel the beauty of true love later. I know it sounds cliché, but it’s so true. And someday it will be worth it.

I am so grateful for the Lord and all He does for me. I know that He loves me individually. I know that through Him I can do anything. This weekend is such an amazing weekend for me. I love the that this opportunity is afforded to me so that I can hear the words of the prophets as it applies to me.

The Innocence of a Child

Every Thursday night, I get the opportunity to babysit. When I was younger, this was a great way to make money, however this has now changed. Instead this is my time to reconnect with youth, my time to escape from the ugliness of the world and have a tickle fight, or let a little girl play with my hair. Tonight was no exception. It started out a bit rough, today was a long day for the kids, so they were tired and a bit cranky. The boy had a reading assignment that needed to get done. However, he was not having this. Finally, in tears he called his parents to let them know he couldn't do it anymore. It moved me with how simple it was for the voice of his father to calm him down. All it took was to just hear his gentle reassurance and the boy was instantly less stressed. And while I still couldn't get him to think about reading, he was calm enough to move on to his other homework. Pajamas were on, and teeth got brushed. It was time for prayers. Due to the exhaustion of the kids (they were staring to get rowdy, I offered to say them. We knelt and the kids were quiet as we prayed. 

Last night in institute, we talked about prayer, and what prayer is to us. This is actually something I have been thinking about since Sunday pretty intently. I realized as I was saying this prayer out loud, that is our phone call to dad. Our Father in Heaven has that soothing voice that can calm us down almost immediately. He is the one we call on our time of stress and need. Whenever I am feeling completely overwhelmed and the people he has left me with for this mortal existence aren't cutting it, I can get on my knees and cry out to Him. And while He doesn't take it away, He helps me to cope, to find a solution to make it through. He is my comfort. When I real need it, I can feel His arms around me as He offers his support and love. 

After prays, we had some struggles get to bed, but finally I got the little girl to her room and I was leaving to take the boy to his. As we walked out, the little girl, M, asked if her brother could stay and snuggle for a bit. I smiled and said no, P needed to get to his own bed. I offered up myself for snuggling as soon as I made sure P was in bed. So it was. 

I got all the lights turned off and went and laid with her in her bed. She was all excited as she showed me the different constellations on her ceiling. We talked about those for a bit. I asked her if she wanted me to leave or stay till she was asleep, she wanted me there. It got quiet and she whispered that it was too quiet sometimes, so I offered to sing to her as she fell asleep. 

I started with my favorite primary song, a child's prayer. It brought tears to my eyes as I heard my voice breaking through the silence speaking these true words, Heavenly Father, are you really there, do you hear and answer every child's prayer? Some say that Heaven is far away, but I feel it close around me as I pray. Heavenly Father, I remember now, something that Jesus told disciples long ago, suffer the children to come to me, Father, in prayer, I'm coming now to thee. 

As I was singing these words I wondered how many times throughout my life I had asked myself those same questions. Was He really there?  Does He really hear me and answer me?  And I remembered all the times I had felt my little piece of Heaven as I had prayed. I had felt His presence around me as I came to Him in prayer. Then I moved on to the second verse. 

Pray, He is there. Speak, He is listening. You are His child, His love now surrounds you. He hears your prayers. He loves the children. Of such is the Kingdom, the Kingdom of Heaven. 

As I sang those simple words, my heart burned. I know these are true, I know I am a child of God, and I know He loves me. I know He listens. Every night as I imagine myself going to sit on His big fluffy white couch to have my time win Him, I know He is there just for me. 

I love being with these kids, while they are normal kids, get teach me so much every week. They see the best in everything and have such peace around them. Their simple testimonies of the gospel are so strong. You can feel their spirits just wanting to share with everyone. I am so grateful for my gentle reminder each week. They help me to keep myself aligned with the will if the Father and of my Savior. 

Overheard at Work

My desk is one of the first things that people see when they walk into the city offices.  However I am not the first person that all people need to talk to. Also upstairs, but not as immediately visible is the court clerk. Because I work for such a small city, everything is fairly close. Today was an interesting day at the clerk's office. A man walked in who had some questions about his fine as it was due the next day and he didn't have the money to pay it. He didn't want a warrant put out and so was obviously quite worried. The court clerk was trying to explain things, but this guy wasn't getting them. As he was getting more confused and more frustrated, his voice became louder and more agitated. Soon it was possible for me to hear every word this man was speaking. He couldn't pay the fine tomorrow because he just got a job and obviously wasn't getting paid yet. He wAs worried because the judge had said pay the fine or 5 days in jail, and he didn't want to go to jail. He kept repeating over and over again, I shouldn't be paying this anyways. I didn't deserve this, it's not my fault, it's her word against mine, etc. Well this peaked my interest. I mean people always maintain their innocence, but I really wanted to know what this guy did. Then I got my wish. 

Someone else came in that he knew to pay their fine and asked him what he was in for, so he started his rant. I'm obviously paraphrasing here and using my own words. Apparently he went into a local gas station and had paid for something. He had overpaid and needed approximately $5 back. This is where things got interesting. According to him, the girl at the register refused to give him his change. She stated that she didn't know how to give change. So the guy apparently called another gas station to try and get them to explain to the lady how to give change. He said he then called the manager of the station and she was apologizing all over the place. By the time he go off the phone, the cops had shown up to take him in. I was laughing hysterically. I would love to hear the other side of the story. Seriously. 

The Road to Peace

"God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."

Today as I was searching for a C.S. Lewis quote for my facebook status, I stumbled upon this little gem. Yes, I quote other people for my status updates. It's my newest trend. I find there is more truth in others words to uplift and give a bit of wisdom. This particular quote hit me hard today. Lately in my life, I have been feeling the benefits of peace and happiness more than ever. I've never really appreciated how that can truly be an asset to my life. I am putting the Lord first in my life and relying on Him completely more than I ever have before. I know I have a lot more to improve on, however, the Lord is the way to peace and happiness. Through Him you can receive the comfort and assurance that you are on the right path. If we stray away from Him, it only leads to confusion and anxiety. He is the way to truth. He is the way to peace. There will still be trials and tribulations. There has to be, that is all part of the learning process. What staying close to the Lord does is to give us the peace through the trials. To be the gentle reminder that everything is going to be okay. There are times in my life I can feel His arms wrap around me as He gives me the comfort I need to make it through. The Lord loves me. He loves each of us. If we strive to be close to Him, He will give us peace and happiness in this life. 

Klondike Bar

Today while in relief society, the teacher got up and asked, "what would you do for a Klondike bar?" The question went around a room a few times and one girl said she'd sing I'm a little teapot for it. The teacher didn't think that was good enough, and wanted some other options. So I raised my hand. I said I'd go into elder's quorum and propose to one of the guys. That got an immediate reaction. The teacher was all for it. The girls wanted to see it. Sometimes it's good to not care. I said that as long as the elder's were okay with it, I was all for it. The teacher went and checked, they were okay. So I marched right in. I went up to the friend that was sitting on the front row, got down on one knee and asked him to marry me. He took the ring I offered and said thanks. Haha not sure if that's a yes or a no. But whatever. I walked out and became a lot of people's hero today. And I got a Heath Klondike bar out of the mix. It was a delicious start to church. Yum! Now i just need my ring back... 

Keys

Today I broke the n, m, b, and h keys on my keyboard. It makes typing seriously frustrating... I never realized how much those keys were used. Seriously! I'm gonna have to go get some super glue tomorrow to fix them. That's for sure. Though on the bright side, I am for real going to appreciate having the keys back working right.

Can't Remember to Forget

You walked into my life that day
And suddenly it was never the same.
You had me forgetting the way life was
Before you ever came.
It took me by surprise,
And I was freaking out.
My mind was so quickly occupied,
That I had no room for doubt.

You were all I ever wanted
You were everything and more
It was better than the best of dreams
I knew this was for sure.
As we made our way into the world
I knew we’d make it together.
But suddenly your thoughts changed
And we weren’t lasting forever.

I remember clearly
How you looked that night.
Your faced looked pained
And I could tell something wasn’t right.
I waited for you to start
I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear.
And as you started,
You confirmed my worst fear.

You listed all those reasons
And none of them made sense.
I found myself wishing
You had just stayed on the fence.
When you finish with what
You had to say
I sat stunned
And managed an okay.

You reached inside
And touched me deep.
It was something that I
Was willing to let you keep.
Yet somehow you decided
That I wasn’t ready yet.
And now you’re just another
I can’t remember to forget.

You walked out that night
Because I wasn’t ready yet
And now you’re just a memory
I can’t remember to forget.