Anywhere that is Everywhere

Facebook Status Quotes

2010-12-10T14:16:00.002-07:00

Today I had a facebook app setup a picture with a lot of my status's from the past year. I thought this may be a good way to remember all the quotes that I found and loved. And here it is for your viewing pleasure!

Charity

2010-12-05T12:06:00.001-07:00

In the spirit of last month, I am going to focus on another facet of my life for a month. This time is not going to be so written about, it's going to be more of a private venture for my own personal growth. This month I am choosing to implement another talk from Pesident Monson this year, "Charity Never Faileth." In this talk we are admonished to be more charitable towered others. When I think of charity, I usually think of service towers others. However this talk addresses our tendency to judge others.

Thus is something that I seem to struggle with, especially in my mind. I tend to make judgments about people before I get to know them. I don't like this about myself and I want to change it. President Monson tells a story in his talk that illustrates this point well.

"A woman by the name of Mary Bartels had a home directly across the street from the entrance to a hospital clinic. Her family lived on the main floor and rented the upstairs rooms to outpatients at the clinic.

One evening a truly awful-looking old man came to the door asking if there was room for him to stay the night. He was stooped and shriveled, and his face was lopsided from swelling—red and raw. He said he’d been hunting for a room since noon but with no success. “I guess it’s my face,” he said. “I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says it could possibly improve after more treatments.” He indicated he’d be happy to sleep in the rocking chair on the porch. As she talked with him, Mary realized this little old man had an oversized heart crowded into that tiny body. Although her rooms were filled, she told him to wait in the chair and she’d find him a place to sleep.

At bedtime Mary’s husband set up a camp cot for the man. When she checked in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded and he was out on the porch. He refused breakfast, but just before he left for his bus, he asked if he could return the next time he had a treatment. “I won’t put you out a bit,” he promised. “I can sleep fine in a chair.” Mary assured him he was welcome to come again.

In the several years he went for treatments and stayed in Mary’s home, the old man, who was a fisherman by trade, always had gifts of seafood or vegetables from his garden. Other times he sent packages in the mail.

When Mary received these thoughtful gifts, she often thought of a comment her next-door neighbor made after the disfigured, stooped old man had left Mary’s home that first morning. “Did you keep that awful-looking man last night? I turned him away. You can lose customers by putting up such people.”

Mary knew that maybe they had lost customers once or twice, but she thought, “Oh, if only they could have known him, perhaps their illnesses would have been easier to bear.”

After the man passed away, Mary was visiting with a friend who had a greenhouse. As she looked at her friend’s flowers, she noticed a beautiful golden chrysanthemum but was puzzled that it was growing in a dented, old, rusty bucket. Her friend explained, “I ran short of pots, and knowing how beautiful this one would be, I thought it wouldn’t mind starting in this old pail. It’s just for a little while, until I can put it out in the garden.”

Mary smiled as she imagined just such a scene in heaven. “Here’s an especially beautiful one,” God might have said when He came to the soul of the little old man. “He won’t mind starting in this small, misshapen body.” But that was long ago, and in God’s garden how tall this lovely soul must stand!"

I really like this story. How often have I judged someone because they did not look the way I thought they should? In John 7:24 it says, "Judge not according to the appearance." If the Savior says this, obviously it is important. So this month my focus is on judging others less. Mother Teresa said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them.". This is so true. This month not only is my experiment to judge less, but to learn to love others more. I want to have more charitable love for others in my heart.

Excitement!!!

2010-12-04T12:57:00.000-07:00

This week I got to train on the ropes course. Wednesday was spent training myself and learning how to train others. Thursday was spent training others. I am now a certified ropes course trainer. I love it! It was so much fun. It took a lot of time and I had to get all my other stuff done in our small breaks, but it was awesome. Tomorrow I get to learn how to work the laser room. This next week I'll be training on redemption games, our computer system and other such things. It's so exciting! I love this. It is so different from everything else I've ever done. It's all so new, but it's all so exciting. Being able to learn and experience all of this. It just makes me that much more excited for when the center will actually open. Wahoo!

Gratitude Day #30

2010-12-01T21:24:00.000-07:00

The last day of gratitude posts. I am grateful for the experience that this has provided for me. I have really experienced a feeling of being more grateful this past month. As things happened throughout the day, I as more grateful for them as the came. I was more able to say thank you as things happened instead of remembering it later. It has really effected my interactions with people. I know that by taking the counsel of the prophet and applying it in my life I will always be able to see results. I am grateful for a prophet that leads and guides us in the world today. I know He is called of God and will never lead us astray from the truth.

Gratitude Day #29

2010-11-30T22:35:00.000-07:00

I am grateful for the good people who came to interview. We had an overwhelming success for the past two days. I only hope that next week is that way too.

Gratitude Day #28

2010-11-29T23:45:00.000-07:00

Today I started interviewing. I am so grateful for this. I feel more in my element when I am interviewing and interacting with staff. That's when I feel more like I am great at what I do. Watching people interact and helping it run more smoothly is one of my specialties. And managing is a part of that. Here's to the start of amazingness!

Gratitude Day #27

2010-11-28T16:35:00.000-07:00

Second Thanksgiving! I was given a free turkey from work. I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn to cook a turkey. And for my dad for walking me through how to do it. I love thanksgiving leftovers!

Gratitude Day #26

2010-11-27T12:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I'm grateful to J for taking me to see it. It was amazing. Blew my mind. Now I can't wait until July so I can see the last installment. I need to see it. Seriously. Thus was definitely the best movie they've put out yet.

Gratitude Day #25

2010-11-26T21:54:00.000-07:00

I'm grateful for prayer. Prayer often just becomes a habit for me, but the past few days, I have been reminded once again of how prayer is my way to phone home. I often times need to phone home to my mom, and she usually is readily available to talk to me. It always helps so much to be able to have her calming influence in my life. These past few days, I've been reminded again of how much more the Lord does that for me in my life. When I am feeling any emotion and I am unsettled, I know I can offer a prayer to my Father in Heaven and He helps me to figure things out. I love that He is there for me and that after uttering a prayer, I can gain a perspective on things and remember what is most important in my life.

Gratitude Day #24

2010-11-25T21:46:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to spend Thanksgiving with J and his family. We were with his aunts family. It was such a great opportunity to experience something new for me. The food was standard. It was what I'd expect at a thanksgiving meal, and that was definitely a comfort. But they had other traditions which were so fun to be apart of. We got to make gingerbread houses! It was such a great time. I am grateful for families today. Even though I wasn't with my family, I was able to feel the love that this family had for each other. Families are the most important part of this life and I am grateful for the love and support that I feel from mine everyday.

Gratitude Day #23

2010-11-24T18:50:00.000-07:00

Today was the funeral for a coworker. Today I sat in a chapel and was uplifted by those that knew her the best. The last time I remember being at a funeral, I was little. I only remember bits and pieces. Walking into this funeral felt a bit weird. However, once everything got started, it turned into a beautiful experience. I am grateful for this woman's example and legacy that she left behind. She was a woman of strength and integrity. While listening to the thoughts of all those who spoke in remembrance, I was impressed with the memories and impressions they all had of her. I only hope that I can become half the woman that she was in this life. I am grateful for her example.

Gratitude Day #22

2010-11-23T23:47:00.000-07:00

Today we are supposed to have the storm of the century. So far it's been the flop of the century. However, BYU closed campus early today lin anticipation of the storm. Because of this, I was able to spend hours more with J, the boy I'm dating. This I am grateful for today.

Gratitude Day #21

2010-11-22T22:37:00.000-07:00

I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost. I have had the opportunity to feel the Holy Ghost in my life in the capacity of comforter many times, but each time I am blessed with that opportunity, I am once again so grateful for that blessing in my life.

The first time that I remember feeling the Holy Ghost as a comforter in my life, I was about 8. My parents had gone to a church thing where they were talking about being prepared in case of emergencies. I don't remember all of the details of everything, but I'm sure my parents told me about some of the things that they had discussed. I found myself very scared and very afraid that our house was going to burn down. I couldn't sleep because I was so afraid of that.

I remember my parents encouraging me to pray, so I did. After my prayer, I was overcome with such a feeling of peace. I was able to sleep. My mind was put to ease. I was no longer as afraid. I knew it was going to be okay.

I look back now and I see the way it is still the same in my life. I am no longer scared that my house is going to burn down.my fears are still real though. My doubt and confusion still lives in me. At times it can be even more overwhelming than my child fear of losing my home. These fears are more mature fears, but they still take me back to those primal fears and deduce me to a childlike state. I still get to the point where I can't sleep. I remember the example my parents taught me those many years ago and I climb out of bed to my knees to offer my simple prayer.

As it happened when I was a child, I still feel that peace overcome me. The comfort is real. It brings rest to my mind, and ease to my soul. So today, I am once again so grateful for the comfort that is brought through the Spirit of the Lord to uplift and bring peace.

Gratitude Day #20

2010-11-21T23:36:00.001-07:00

I am grateful for good people and good food. Sundays are the day I miss my family the most and especially missing family dinners. We always have a big family dinner. Dinner time is the time we all sit and talk and are super goofy together. Family dinners are our time. And Sundays especially. Today I was able to have a normal big family dinner. I cooked a meal that is common at my house and was able to share it with others. We played games and had a fun evening. It was exactly the little piece of home I've been missing. I get to go home in a month. It's not soon enough. But today I'm grateful for the good people that I got to share a little bit of home with.

Gratitude Day #19

2010-11-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

I got a new phone today!!!! I am so grateful to have something newer and more reliable to use now. It's such a good feeling.

Gratitude Day #18

2010-11-19T22:35:00.000-07:00

I am so grateful for good employees. Today we had a huge event at work where we started our major advertising push. I had the opportunity to watch as the 5 people who were there really started getting into the crowd and interacting with people. They weren't shy and they got the word spread. It was good to see that the facility will be in capable hands.

Gratitude Day #17

2010-11-18T16:30:00.000-07:00

Today I am grateful for yet another spot of good weather. It's warm enough outside that I don't have to wear a coat. Yay! It won't last longer than this week, but it's a good respite.

Gratitude Day #16

2010-11-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in at work today and got a phone call from my old boss at Lindon. In the course of the phone call he informed me that one of my old coworkers died today. She died in a plane crash. She was an instructor on a flight and it was just her and her student on the flight when the engines failed. I wasn't especially close with this woman, but I had a relationship with her. She was always there to talk and ask questions. She was genuinely interested in what was going on in my life, and always seemed genuinely happy to see me. She leaves behind 2 young children and a husband. When I heard this, it hit me hard. I had been following the story of the plane crash online all day, so to hear that it was someone I knew, it was surreal. It still is. I almost cannot believe it's true.

I had the opportunity to text one of my old coworkers about this today and we talked through a few things. It brought a few things back to my mind rather glaringly. I am so grateful tonight for the knowledge of the Plan of Salvation. While I don't understand why she was taken at this point in life, I know that there is a greater work going on. I know that her family will be able to be with her again someday. I know that the Lord has a plan.

When I think about how people who don't have a knowledge of the truth process an event of this, I don't know how they make sense. I can understand how this would lead people into more confusion. Having a knowledge and understanding that the Lord truly is in charge is an amazing asset in this life. I am so grateful tonight for my knowledge of the Plan.

Mid-Month Reminder!

2010-11-16T19:49:00.002-07:00

Yay for Mormon Messages!

This one was my mid-month reminder for why I am doing a Gratitude Post everyday. It was also a chance for me to reflect on what this has been for me thus far. Half way through November. Crazy!

Gratitude Day #15

2010-11-16T19:38:00.002-07:00

I'm grateful for productive days! I got so much done today both at work and for church, etc. It's just one of those days where I do way more than I thought was even possible.

Gratitude Day #14

2010-11-15T19:14:00.004-07:00

I'm grateful for beautiful sunsets. Tonight as I was walking out of the construction zone and was greeted by this.

The photo does not even begin to do the colors justice and if I had the skill I would make them clearer to see. Unfortunately I don't have those skills, so I'll leave that up to the imagination. But it was beautiful colors playing on the snow cover mountains. Normally I'm not a fan of snow, but seeing the brilliance of the colors and how they contrasted with the white gave me a new found appreciation.

And I Am Not My Body

2010-11-14T20:44:00.004-07:00

In relief society today, our lesson was on faith. We started with watching one of the Mormon messages that I've seen a few time. Maybe you've seen it as well, if you haven't, feel free to watch it here. I feel this is one that we as women especially can never watch too much.

As I watched this video again, I was really able to internalize it. At first I started to get down on myself. I wondered how I could complain about my life and the trials I face when it's nothing compared what this woman faces on a daily basis. I realized that was not the point of this video. This video is meant to uplift and give strength. I stopped thinking and just allowed myself to feel. To give myself the opportunity to be tutored by the Spirit of the Lord.

While I don't have physical scars or such visible trials that others can see, I still have scars on the inside from the trials that I have faced and overcome. Each one left a mark on me, and the scar that is now there is the proof of the healing and growth that happened from each one. While others cannot see my scars, I can and so can the Lord. I know that through this I can see that I am beautiful and am more able to feel my Saviors Love and sacrifice for me. I am more able to know of my divine worth and purpose on this earth.

I know that through faith in the Lord, all my wounds can be healed. And that through Him all things can be overcome. The last part of the movie is a quote by Elder Holland. I know that if during my trials, I turn to the right method of overcoming, I can grow closer to my Father in Heaven than ever before.

"We are not alone in our little prisons here. When suffering, we may in fact be nearer to God than we’ve ever been in our entire lives. That knowledge can turn every such situation into a would-be temple.

Regarding our earthly journey, the Lord has promised:

'I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.' [D&C 84:88]

That is an everlasting declaration of God’s love and care for us, including—and perhaps especially—in times of trouble." ~ Elder Jeffery Holland "Lessons from Liberty Jail"

Gratitude Day #13

2010-11-14T17:12:00.000-07:00

I am grateful today for pink shoes. I woke up this morning and looked at all my sunday heels and I just couldn't handle putting any of them on. So instead I turned to my pink flats. My feet are happy and warm today. And it fits me.

Gratitude Day #12

2010-11-13T23:44:00.000-07:00

I am grateful for stars.

Gratitude Day #11

2010-11-13T14:11:00.002-07:00

I know I've already been grateful for tender mercies, so while that is still on my mind, today I'm focusing my gratitude on feeling love from my Heavenly Father. I know often love from above comes in the form if others. The past two days my testimony of this has grown so much. I have been shown through others a lot the past few days of how much my Heavenly Father thinks of me. I have been struggling a little bit trying to figure out if I'm truly capable of all I've been handed at this point in my life. I have been feeling overwhelmed by everything that is going on in my life. The past two days, yesterday especially, I was shown by my Father that my efforts are being noticed and that I am on track. I am able to feel His love so strongly in my life. It is really such a good feeling. I know that I am completely capable and that as ling as I am "anxiously engaged" and doing my best, I will be able to accomplish and overcome all that I am currently looking at in my life.

Gratitude Day #10

2010-11-12T09:20:00.002-07:00

I'm grateful for perspective. Being able to see beyond myself and realize that my worries are small in the grand scheme of things.

Gratitude Day #9

2010-11-11T14:12:00.002-07:00

I'm grateful for a good nights sleep. It really calms me down and helps me to get a better perspective on things. Yesterday I was having a day where I had not had enough sleep and work and just everything in life was seriously overwhelming. I felt like I was on the edge of a breaking point. All it took was going to bed earlier and getting a good nights sleep. Today I feel like I can conquer the world. I know that I can do everything and handle everything that is being thrown my way.

Gratitude Day #8

2010-11-10T00:25:00.000-07:00

The Internet. I'm grateful that a full wealth of knowledge is right at my finger tips. Anything I could want to know is available online and I can find it with almost no issue. If I am wondering what a talk said in the last conference, I can find it immediately. It's amazing what technology has accomplished and what it is doing to help further the work of God. It's been a real blessing to me over the past few days.

Gratitude Day #7

2010-11-09T02:00:00.000-07:00

Today I'm grateful for tender mercies. For the foresight that Heavenly Father has to put those people in our life that are most going to uplift us. I know that often Heavenly Father blesses us through other people, and we just have to be looking for Him in their words and deeds. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me. I am so grateful that tonight I got to experience that love through someone else. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan, all we have to do is trust Him. If I trust Him and turn my will completely have to Him, I know that I will make it safely home to Him. I'm so grateful for those that demonstrate that through their words and actions.

Gratitude Day #6

2010-11-07T16:28:00.000-07:00

It's the first Sunday of the month and daylight savings Sunday. Today is a day when I feel so much love and gratitude in my heart. I can't even begin to express all the gratitude that I feel in my heart. As I sit and reflect on those things that I have in my life as a blessing, I am astounded again at my Father's love for me. Today being fast Sunday, I am so grateful for testimonies.

There is so much strength that is made evident every first Sunday of a month. I am so grateful that I am allowed and have choose to participate in it. There is strength in being surrounded by those that have the same values and beliefs as I do. Today was one of those days where I really was uplifted. As I sat and listened to everyone share their knowledge of the Savior and the truthfulness of this gospel, I was overcome. I felt in my heart the truth that was shared. It was an opportunity for me to have a gentle reassurance of the truth of the gospel.

I know the gospel is true. I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and that he died for me. I know that there is a living prophet on the earth today. President Thomas S. Monson is called of God. I know that abiding by His word and the words of the scriptures, I can obtain eternal happiness. I know I am loved by my Heavenly Father. I am truly grateful for testimonies and their building power.

Gratitude Day #5

2010-11-07T01:59:00.000-06:00

Today is simple. Today I'm grateful for college football. Not only is college football fun to watch and participate in, it's an equalizer. It is something that a lot of people like and have in common. It breaks down barriers and allows people to talk and enjoy themselves. I love college football!

Gratitude Day #4

2010-11-06T02:18:00.000-06:00

Tonight I got a phone call from an old friend. He recently got engaged, and so having him call me at 1 in the morning was a little weird. He was calling for advice. Somehow when he said that I knew it was relationship advice. He laid out the issues for me. As he did so, I started to get mad. When I responded, I'm pretty sure he was surprised by my lack of advice. I didn't actually have any advice to give in the problem. I could have, however,the reason was mad is because here is an engaged man, on the phone with another girl looking for advice on his girl. I actually saw it as him looking for a justification that he was right from a female source. My only advice to him was that he should be talking to his fiancé about this. That he should be working it through with her.

As I hung up the phone, I was able to reflect on my own relationship. We have had some rocky times, but overall, we have always talked to each other. We get through because we are 100% honest with each other. If I ever feel like I need an outside source, I call my mom and look for advice. Tonight, I am grateful for my ability to communicate effectively. And for the good relationships that are formed off of the ability to talk. I know that it all is because I have developed communication with my Heavenly Father that helps set a pattern for the rest of my relationships.

Gratitude Day #3

2010-11-04T23:41:00.001-06:00

Today was a really good day in Kara land. I woke up and immediately started getting things done. I got into work and got some things taken care of. My boss wasn't around and there were decisions that needed to be made. I took the initiative and made decisions. Nothing big mind you, but decisions none the less. I made some calls and then started getting some product put together. I decided what the prices were going to be at the center. I know the prices are probably eventually going to be changed by those above me, but it still got done. I outlined the duties of one of the interns and was able to more fully explain her job to her. Basically, my day was very productive and I actually started feeling like an asset at my job. I know I'm good at what I do, but this job is stretching outside the bounds of my expertise and really making me go outside of my comfort zone and learn new things.

So today am I once again reminded how grateful I am for my ability to adapt and to grow. I am grateful that in this life that is our goal. We were put here on this earth to learn and grow and develop. That is our whole purpose. We are here to become more Godlike. I am so grateful that I was given this opportunity to learn more about my abilities. To learn what I can accomplish and to see myself get it done. I can see the path that has been paved for me in life as I reflect back. I can see how everything in my life has led to this point and has prepared me for this. Now this is the next stretch. This is just outside what I'm capable of doing and I'm so grateful for the opportunity to grow and become even more.

Gratitude Day #2

2010-11-03T19:34:00.001-06:00

Today as I was driving down the road I had this overwhelming need to call my mom. I had a lot I needed to talk to her about, to sort out the feelings and the unsettled thoughts in my head. I called her and she gave me the response I was looking for and gave me the support I needed. When I was talking about my confusion that held my head in a cloud, she responded with what I needed to here. She said something along the lines of me needing to stop thinking and just go eith what feels right.

So today, I am eternally grateful for my Mom. I know that I was sent to the family that I have for a reason. My Mom often knows me better than I know myself. She loves me more than I can comprehend. I so grateful for the influence my Mom is in my life and for being my best friend and my balancing force. I love you Mom!

Gratitude Day #1

2010-11-02T19:04:00.001-06:00

While I appeared to be complaining about Utah weather today on my Facebook, I am very grateful for how nice the weather has been the past three days. It has seriously been a nice little break from the rain and the snow. I love that when I walk outside it is gorgeous and I don't have to wear a coat.

So while I know the weather is probably going to be changing again soon, I'm extremely glad that it has lasted as long as it has. I have always said that Utah weather is like a woman going through menopause, and I still maintain that this is true. I'm just glad that the hot flashes are going through November as of right now.

Attitude of Gratitude

2010-11-01T20:36:00.006-06:00

This being the first day of November, gratitude has been on my mind. Last night as I was preparing a spiritual thought for ward prayer, my mind was drawn back to President Monson's talk from General Conference. I decided to read the talk, and find some material that I could pass on to those that would come to ward prayer.

The first little nugget that hit me was a quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley, "When you walk with gratitude, you do not walk with arrogance and conceit and egotism, you walk with a spirit of thanksgiving that is becoming to you and will bless your lives."

Walk with gratitude. That is big. That doesn't mean that I am just grateful, that means that my whole being is full of gratitude at all times. I don't have to think about it, I just am. That is a gift that I could possess. When I, as a being, am possessed with gratitude, I don't have any form of pride in me. This will reflect in my life, it will reflect in my countenance, and it will enrich my life.

President Monson asks us how we can cultivate in our hearts gratitude. He turns to President Joseph F. Smith, "The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life. Pride destroys our gratitude and sets up selfishness in its place. How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to cultivate, through the medium of a prayerful life, a thankful attitude toward God and man!"

It's another example of overcoming weakness! If I turn to God, He will help me see all the reasons to be grateful in my life. I remember one week when I tried to make this a priority in my life. I specifically prayed to have a Spirit of gratitude with me at all times. I saw the world in so much better terms and was so grateful for everything that was put in it.

"A grateful heart, then, comes through expressing gratitude to our Heavenly Father for His blessings and to those around us for all that they bring into our lives. This requires conscious effort-- at least until we have truly learned and cultivated an attitude of gratitude. Often we feel grateful and intend to express our thanks but forget to do so or just don't get around to it. Someone has said that 'feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.'

"When we encounter challenges and problems in our lives, it is often difficult for us to focus on our blessing. However if we reach deep enough and look hard enough, we will be able to feel and recognize just how much we have been given."

I love that. My goal for this next month of November is to cultivate and Attitude of Gratitude. I am going to be looking for things to be grateful for everyday of this month. It's my own personal experiment to see how this enriches my life and how it visibly changes it.

Antoine Obama

2010-11-01T13:47:00.003-06:00

So on Saturday night I went to iHop to get some late night breakfast. While I was there, I saw 2 guys dressed up in security type dress (sunglasses, ear pieces, suits etc). Then they were followed by 2 more. Following them was a guy and a girl dressed up pretty nice, he was in a suit, she was in a skirt suit. They were followed by 2 more security types. The security quickly spread through the room and one of them then announced, "Listen up everybody, President Obama has something he would like to say." The nice dressed couple were dressed as President and Michelle Obama for Halloween. The Guy dressed up as President Obama was someone I recognized but couldn't put my finger on... Then it hit me, he's YouTube famous for this video:

"President Obama" began his speech, "It appears we have a rapist here, in Lincoln Park. Everyone needs to hide their wives, hide their children and to hide their husbands because they are raping everybody out here." He continued with a reference to being so dumb, and that we could run and tell that homeboy. He had a convincing Obama speech going. If I had only been listening, I might be convinced that it was actually Obama. He then ended with, "We can be the Change!"

If you don't recognize that speech, you may need to watch this video:

As he finished up, he was trying to leave and everyone wanted a picture. The security detail would actually address him as President Obama, and they would take pictures for people. Finally they announced that he had another appointment to get to, and walked out. That was their sole purpose for being there that night. It made my Halloween. One of the more clever things I've seen in Provo.

I'm currently searching YouTube for a possible video of this being done. If I find it, I will post that as well.

All Hallows Eve

2010-10-31T16:15:00.001-06:00

Today is Halloween. This being a Sunday, here in Utah, Halloween was celebrated yesterday. Halloween is one of my personal favorite holidays. For an entire day, you get to dress up and be someone different for the day. I love make believe and pretend. I love the opportunity to do this, so having a full day that is dedicated to this, it makes it my favorite holiday.

This year was a bit different though. Due to my new job, as well as other complications this weekend, I did not put the prep into it that I usually do. Friday night was the stake activity and I was in charge of the photo booth. I hurried home from work to get changed and get there. I was thinking that I would just through on my dress from last year and be an 80's prom queen. I got all ready, my side pony tail was up etc. I went to put on my dress, and I was no where to be found. No where. I couldn't find it. I went into a mild panic because I was already late. Luckily I have extra costumes, so I through on my dress from when I was the good fairy Flora. I threw on a crown and called it good.

I was just a princess, but as I walked into the activity, someone yelled, "Princess Peach, that's awesome." My costume was decided. I was now Princess Peach. I ended up taking photos for the night which was fun, but it meant I had limited interaction with other people. However, I was able to get a little bit planned and ended up having a group of people over for a movie after the activity. I was really impressed with myself. I have been trying to make friends and to be social in an attempt to make my life balanced. And I succeeded. I had people over Friday night, I was social yesterday too and tonight I have a lot of social plans.

This weekend has been a real example to me. Being social had become a weakness for me. I didn't like to reach out of my comfort zone to make friends and to get to know people. I preferred to stay with my old groups or at home. However due to the fact that my friends are getting married or graduating, I don't have a lot of people around anymore. I know that I need to be social though and that I need to have good people in my life. So I turned to the Lord. As I was pondering how I could get to know more people, a scripture popped into my mind. Ether 12:27 "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

It hit me. This was a weakness. This is something that I needed to become strong in my life. I kneeled down and asked my Heavenly Father to help me with this weakness. While I haven't become the most social person in the world, I am starting to see the difference in my life. This weekend was a real testimony builder to me. I know that if the Lord is included, anything is possible.

In the World, but not of the World

2010-10-24T19:07:00.000-06:00

Today in sacrament meeting, the theme of the talks was to be in the world, but not of the world. This subject hit me hard today as I feel lately I have been tempted to see myself in the worlds image too much. I haven't been seeing myself through the eyes of the Lord, rather through the eyes of the photographers of magazines. I can only see how much about myself I want to change. This has put my life into a small bit of turmoil. I am losing focus of the important things of life. I am still doing that which should be bringing me closer to God, however, my heart is not always in it. I couldn't figure out why this was, I knew I wasn't all there, but I couldn't figure out the reasons behind it.

Today was my breakthrough while I was sitting in church. I wasn't feeling church like I usually do, so I started to delve into the possible reasons why. I realized that my focus has been wrong. As I started to think about this more, a hymn popped into my head. Be still my Soul. I realized that I that I let everything cloud my mind. I really just need to slow down and allow myself to be still.

So this week, I'm going to focus on allowing myself to take things slow and to be in the world instead of being of the world. This week is a bigger focus on the things that matter. And learning to shut out the bad influences in my life.

End of this Chapter

2010-10-23T17:02:00.004-06:00

Today, I went to the pool to clean out my office. I needed to get all of my stuff out of there and then turn in my keys. I was going to do this earlier in the week, but the way it worked out was a lot better. I was able to say goodbye, by myself, and get some closure. Yesterday was my last day of working with people, and that was fine, I as a little sad, but nothing too bad. They got me some going away gifts and all came to wish me well, but I was totally fine. Nothing had me torn up about leaving, I was just excited about the new job.

Because of the feelings I had yesterday, I wasn't worried about today at all. I didn't think anything of it. While I was cleaning and getting things ready, I didn't feel anything, just the need to get I done. It took me a few hours, and then I went around to each room in the pool to make sure I didnt have anything that I was leaving behind. As I was walking around, everything started to hit me. I remembered everything that this job had done for me, all the good memories, all the time that was spent there. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. I just stood and stared for a bit, taking in all the emptiness. I went back to my office to get my box of stuff. I had to go into the city center to drop off my keys, so I left the gate and office unlocked while I did that.

I didn't feel anything until I set my keys down on my bosses desk. I realized in that moment, I would never have the keys to get back into the facility again. That was the end of my employment there. I walked back out to the pool and went through the office one last time. I locked the door and walked out. I went out the front gate and slowly rolled it closed. As I started to fasten the lock, the tears started to roll. I didn't realize when I went, how hard this was actually going to be for me.

I walked to my car and got in, as I turned the key, the tears started falling harder. I was overcome with emotion. I couldn't move. I literally could not find it in me to drive away, so I just sat there and felt. I allowed myself to feel wert emotion that was going through me. The gratitude for everything that this job had taught me, and for every person I had met there. The sadness that it was over, etc.

After allowing myself to feel for a few moments, I gathered myself together and got control. So while I'm so sad that this is ending, I will only have the best memories from it. All the lessons that I learned while working there, I know have made me a better person and employee. I now am so excited for my next adventure in this new chapter of my life.

Cute Pumpkin everyone signed for me as a going away thank you!

R.I.P. Archibald

2010-10-22T22:05:00.001-06:00

Today I came home from work and You were dead. I got a bit sad. I didn't think I would care, but I did. I got you when I worked at Lindon. You were the last remaining fish from the pool. My last day working at Lindon was today, so I find it slightly ironic and fitting that you would pass today. You were 4 months old, and you were a good fish. I really enjoyed seeing you everyday. I am going to miss you, Archie.

Repentence

2010-10-22T00:23:00.003-06:00

It's Thursday night, my favorite night of the week because I get to babysit. Today was a rough day, my best friend had a seizure and needed me for some support. It was a hard thing for me to watch the after affects, so I can't even imagine feeling the pain from his perspective. I left him in time to get to the house where I sit. I walked in and all was well. It was a pretty normal night. We played some games and the kids were fine.

It came time for bed, and the 7 year old, M, had the normal resistance, but a bit of persuasion and compromise got her moving towards pajamas. However, the 10 year old, P, was having some deeper issues. He was angry, yelling and confrontational. I had never seen him like this and he kept insisting nothing was wrong. I had him get ready for bed, but gave him a few minutes alone while I helped M.

I came back down and asked him calmly if everything was really okay. He bit my head off with his reply of yes. "I'm fine Kara." Then M came bounding happily down the stairs so we could say prayers. I offered the prayer tonight as P wasn't feeling it, and M kept trying to pawn it off on me anyways. After the prayer was over all I managed to get out of P was that he had a bad day and was grumpy and tired so to leave him alone. I turned out his light and took M upstairs to read a story and tuck her in.

After M was taken care of, I checked in on P. His light was back on and he was reading a book. I told him I was sorry his day hadn't gone well and told him I hadn't had the best day either. He asked why and I explained the situation. He looked at me for a second and said, "I said the 'G' word today." I told him I was sorry. He told me how horrible he felt inside. I asked if he had told his parents, he had told his mom but he was afraid of his dad's anger. I mentioned that if his dad did get angry, it was only out of love.

I then told P that the most important person to tell was Heavenly Father and that if he asked for forgiveness, Heavenly Father would forgive him. P said he knew that, but he just couldn't get it out of his head. I said, well that's why we have the atonement. Jesus Christ died so that our sins could be forgiven us. He nodded his agreement. I wished him a goodnight and told him that if he needed to talk anymore he could come talk to me.

I was sitting in the family room and about 20 minutes later, P came into the room. I looked at him and asked what was up. He replied, "I think Heavenly Father forgave me." I asked how he knew. "I can feel it" he said. We talked about that and the peace that he was now feeling from the whole situation. I then wished him goodnight again. He started to walk out of the room, but turned and told me he was sorry about my friend. I was now full of feeling and said, "it'll be all right, Heavenly Father loves him. He is looking out for him." P agreed and said, "I know He is." The spirit was so strong in that room. I felt my emotions come on strong as he walked to his room.

Later I recounted the story to his mom. It was amazing to the feel the same spirit carried over to this boys mother. I know that Heavenly Father loves us and is looking to forgive us. We just have to ask with a willing heart. His love for us is overflowing and he likes to make it manifest in all He does. He often shows us that love through others, and tonight I was shown through a 10 year old boys simple testimony. I know this gospel is true. And that Christ atoned for our sins. He is there for us to lean on in our trials and hard times. He loves us and did everything for us. I feel His love for me even now. I love you my Father in Heaven and my Savior who died for me.

Furthering Education

2010-10-19T18:27:00.001-06:00

From the time I was little, I thought about getting a higher degree. A bachelor's was a given, I wanted more. I flip flopped between a lot if ideas for higher education. I first wanted law school, then physical therapy school, then med school, back to law, etc. The one degree I never thought about getting was an MBA. It just didn't fit into what I wanted. I never really thought that was something that I'd need, and I definitely didn't think it'd be something I'd like.

However, lately, i've realized an MBA would be an excellent choice. I work in a highly predominant business field, and unfortunately for me, I don't know business. What few business classes I had to take for my major, I learned what I needed to in order to pass the class, and then moved on. I wasn't a fan of business in school, mostly because I didn't understand it. Now, I realize that I need to know business. I am working at a brand new business. While I don't handle the business side of things, I still need to be able to understand what is going on.

So, I'm going to see how things go for the next year, and if it continues the way it looks to be going, I will start applying for MBA programs next fall. I will go on and get a masters degree. That's just going to add so much more to my already impressive resume. I don't know how I feel about the whole thing, but that's why I have a whole year to ponder and decide. We'll see what ultimately happens, but for now, it's just on my mind.

Bubble Wrap and Water Balloons

2010-10-17T13:44:00.000-06:00

Lately I have had a lot of spontaneous impulses. But unlike most of my wacky ideas, these ones aren't going away. I really really want to do them. The first was born out of a commercial. California Pizza Kitchen has a commercial where they lay down bubble wrap on half the sidewalk and see what people choose. Anyone who knows me would know that I would obviously choose the bubble wrap side.

As I sat thinking about this, (and that's what we call effective marketing) I really wanted to try this. Like really. So now, my new thought is that we will put down bubble wrap in my house. That way, when anyone walks into our house, it starts a popping! I think this would be awesome. We have also then taken the liberty of adding the idea of whoppy cushions under the couch cushions, we'll see if this actually happens.

My next idea, I have no idea how it came to being. I really want to fill water balloons and throw them at cars. Yes, I realize that this could be illegal, and I realize that it could be dangerous, but I'm fairly certain this would be the best thing ever. So much fun.

I'm not sure if, or when this will happen, but all I can think about with this is, my poor kids. They are going to have the most random childhood because their mom will be a kid at heart. But at least it will be a fun random!

Weird Dream

2010-10-15T17:57:00.002-06:00

Last night I had a dream. Not unusual, I dream a lot. This one was also not unusual in the fact that I don't remember most major details from said dream. I know that I was in a cabin somewhere on a vacation with family friends. There are a few major details I remember, like the van we drove, or the trees, but I only remember one actual thing that happened in my dream. I, for some reason that I don't understand, had my fish on this vacation. My fish is a very real creature and not a product of my dream. His name is Archibald. He is a goldfish and is a little over 4 months old. He use to live at work, but I have since brought him home and now he resides I my bathroom with a sign that says "No Skinny Dipping" in his bowl. I call him Archie. We get along fabulously. He doesn't die, and I feed him and clean his tank. It's a fairly stable relationship that doesn't require much more than that. If he died, I would mildly miss his presence and then move on. I might think about purchasing a replacement 28 cent pet.

Anyways, in my dream I was far more attached to the fish. I would go anywhere without him (is this a sign from my subconscious that the fish actually means more to me than I'm willing to admit?) So Archie was there. One of the boys on the trip got the brilliant idea to put a baby shark in the tank. According to the boy, these sharks had been bred specifically not to prey on fish. They were way small and meant for tank life. The shark was about 5 inches long.

In my dream we went somewhere, and when we came back, the tank was a disaster. All I saw was a goldfish tail resting on the rocks and a big thing swimming around. I immediately assumed that the shark had eaten poor Archie, and all that was left was the tail, but as I got closer I was unprepared for what was there.

I was right, the shark had torn of Archie's tail, and that somehow provoked Archie to eat the shark. I'm not kidding. My goldfish ate a 5 inch shark. And somehow that caused him to grow a few inches in return. So now floating around the bowl was my huge goldfish missing a tail. I woke up and immediately wanted to research if fish could regrow a tail. So I did. Aparently fish can regrow tails. Thank goodness dream Archie will be all right! Haha my fish is pretty kick butt awesome. I mean he is the only one who survived the entire summer out of all my fish. Go Archie!

Love This....

2010-10-15T12:21:00.001-06:00

Seriously, this kid is amazing. Love his voice, and his style!

Slowing Down

2010-10-12T23:36:00.003-06:00

When I was in high school, I learned how to drive. I also got the use of a car. My dad would ride his bike to work everyday so that I could use our car. There were a couple of routes I could take to get home from school, and one of these routes had a lot of intense speed bumps. One day, as I was going over these speed bumps, I forgot to slow down. I was going quite fast, and discovered that if I was at the right speed, the car would fly over the bumps and you wouldn't even feel the bump. I soon started taking this route home everyday because it was so much fun. However, one day, I was taught how bad this was for your vehicle. I was told all the things it can do to wear down on the car. I soon realized that if I was going to keep using my dad's car, I should probably treat it right. I starting taking other ways home, and I slowed down when going over speed bumps.

This is a pattern I've started to notice in my life. Either when something stressful comes up, or life starts to get hard, I take it super fast. I am not very patient. I speed through things as fast as possible without really taking a look around to see what's happening. I took no thought as to what this did to me. I didn't realize the damage it was doing to my relationships, with God, with my family, with others, and with myself. I now know this needs to change.

In President Uchtdorf's talk in this last conference, he talked about the need to slow down, to get back to the basics. As I'm starting my new job, I know I'm going to be stressed. I know this is going to bring a lot of challenges that I know I can handle, even though at first they may seem unconquerable. I know that by slowing down and by focusing on the little things, that will give me a foundation strong enough to accomplish whatever I set my mind to. It will all be through Him.

It's Here!

2010-10-11T13:18:00.002-06:00

Remember the change that I was talking about a while back? How I could feel it coming in my life? Well it's official, a major change is here. Granted, I brought this change upon myself, but still, it's here, and it's big. You ready? Drum roll please.........

I ACCEPTED A JOB OFFER TODAY!!!!

That's right, I put in my 2 weeks notice and I am starting a new job. I go in to meet with them tomorrow to get started with paperwork and all that. They want me to start as soon as possible. I am going to finish up working here and get everything in order so that they have a good foundation to go on for next year.

I don't want to say too much about this place yet, but it's going to be awesome. They have an indoor FlowRider (that's what initially attracted me to the place) as well as a lot of other attractions. It's going to be a huge family fun center. They have offered me a full time position with benefits, so I had to go to it. Not only that, I will be getting in on the ground floor and will be opening everything from scratch, again. I truly am blessed. I will have more experience than most in a lot of ways and I've only been graduated from college for a year! It's crazy, and oh so exciting, but I'm going to miss the pool so much... I guess I'll just have to visit next year. :)

Becoming Me

2010-10-10T23:14:00.000-06:00

Conference talks are now online in text! Yay! I have been waiting for these. I love to listen to the words of the prophets and I full plan on downloading the talks to put on my iPod (this is almost perfectly timed for my drive to and from work). And while hearing the words spoken invokes a certain spirit, I am so much more of a visual learner. I have been waiting for the text version all week, and it's here! Tonight I took the opportunity to re-read the talk that stuck out the most to me all of conference. I was actually in the conference center for this talk, and I loved it while I was there. I read Elder Scott's talk tonight. It is entitled, The Transforming Power of Faith and Character. This talk spoke to me for so many reasons, the simplicity of that which he spoke about was one of them. The first principle of the gospel is Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. Faith is a topic that you can never learn enough about. But tonight there is just one quote from the talk that really stuck out to me.

"We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day."

I may have aspirations to become something or someone, but just because I think about it, doesn't mean something is going to click in my brain and I'm automatically going to become that person. It doesn't work that way. I need to put a plan in place. I need to become that person I want to be. I need to start living the life that I want to have. I had thought this before, but never so eloquently. I had never actually put words to the thought. So now, I am going to formulate a plan. I am going to start working on me. I am going to live the life of the person I want to be. I know I won't be perfect. But no one is. I do know that by striving for this ideal, I will get better everyday. I will make small improvements that slowly mold me into the person that my Heavenly Father has in store for me to be. I know He has a plan for me and I want to become the daughter that He knows I am. I want to be ready for His plan.

Love

2010-10-08T15:46:00.002-06:00

"Love is never wasted, for it's value does not rest upon reciprocity." ~ Neal A. Maxwell

I signed onto Facebook the other day and was greeted by that quote. I have come to love this quote. If ever I have felt like I have misplaced my love, I am now rebuked. I know that any love I give to another person is never misplaced. Love is real. Love needs to be given. Others need to feel love. Even if they don't return the feeling, they need to feel the Love of others. Thank you Neal A Maxwell. I will never hesitate to give love again.

Tender Mercies

2010-10-06T21:10:00.001-06:00

I have had a few tender mercies in my life lately. There have been a few people that felt the need to just drop me a little note letting me know that they had noticed my efforts and appreciated what I was doing.

In 1 Nephi 1:20 it reads, "But behold I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance.

I have been pondering on this verse along with the talk that Elder Bednar gave a couple years ago on the principle of tender mercies. Because I have been going through a small trial, I have been asking for comfort and love to be sent my way. I have always known that Heavenly Father helps us most through other people, and I don't know if I have been more open to this now or what, but I have been seeing His love manifest so strongly.

While I have been thinking about this principle, I had a song pop into my head. Songs have been sticking out in my head a lot lately (in case you hadn't noticed). I feel like the Spirit reaffirms so much in our lives through he testimony of music. Lyrics, if uplifting, can be a powerful witness of truth. This particular song is called Tender Mercies by Michael McLean. I have chosen to only include the last verse and chorus, but the whole song is amazing.

If you're out there listening and wondering why, You get a feeling inside you that makes you want to cry. Perhaps you're reminded of a memory or two, When God's tender mercies were given to you. But then maybe you're thinking this hurts too much, With unanswered prayers you feel so out if touch. I wish I could be there and help you hold on, 'Til that day when your heart can't help singing this song. I know you'll sing it strong. A tender mercy has come to me, It came from Heaven I do believe. Maybe why I was chosen, Is because I was chose to see, It seems like whenever I choose to see, God's tender mercies are for those who believe, Tender mercies are for you and me.

I know the Lord loves me enough that He sends me tender mercies to let me know. His love for me so so encompassing that He is always wanting to show me. I pray that I am always worthy enough to have the Holy Ghost with me so that I can see and feel His efforts to give me Love.

What Heaven Sees In Me

2010-10-05T21:14:00.001-06:00

Sent to this earth, you were saved through the ages for this day and time. Child of great worth, child of promise, daughter of the Divine. Pure and holy in a little white dress, you were held in a circle and you were blessed. And the Father looked down, and the angels surrounded that place, they knew the truth, all that you could do. And you will too, if you have eyes to see, what heaven sees in you.

Dressed in white once more, making promises to follow in God's way. So much lies in store, for the little girl who enters at the gate. Pure and holy on a little, white dress, you were led into the water and you were blessed. And the Father looked down, and the angels surrounded that place. They knew the truth, all that you could do, and you will too, if you have eyes to see, what heaven sees in you.

Do you understand who you are? Part of the Father lives in you. And if you continue on this path, every promise God has given will come true.

Heaven on earth. In the house of God, so much fills your heart and mind. Woman of great worth, woman of promise, daughter of the Divine. Pure and holy in long, white dress. You promise forever and you are blessed. And the Father looks down, and the angels surround that place. They knew the truth, all that you can do. And you do too, cause you have eyes to see, what heaven sees in you.

Will you have eyes to see, what Heaven sees in you?

This song has been on my mind a lot lately. The first time it hit me was Saturday night. I was driving back from a friends house. I had just dropped her off after conference. This song came on my iPod and I was singing softly along, barely recognizing what I was singing. And then it hit me, I can still clearly remember where I realized it. I started the song over and really sang along this time. As I sang, I could hear myself baring my testimony of the truth contained in these lyrics. And while I'm not to the point where I am in my long white dress yet, I know that I am a woman of great worth. I don't fully know everything that Heaven sees in me, but I am beginning to understand.

I know that I have so much potential in this life. But none of it will be my own doing. I am an instrument in the hands of the Lord. Everything I accomplish in this life will through Him. And everything will be for the good of His plan. I know I am a Divine daughter of my Heavenly Father. I know that He sees me as so much more than I see myself. I only pray that I can keep myself open to understand what He needs from me.

Farewell

2010-10-04T11:34:00.001-06:00

Last night I said goodbye to you, my best friend. Things weren't right, and so we had to walk away. It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through in my life. Despite the pain, the tears I was crying in your presence were for an entirely different reason. The Spirit was so strong and so present for this conversation. We just talked through everything. And a lot of realizations were made. There were a lot of spiritual developments made. While I know the pain is necessary, I also know that there is a reason for it. We were in each others life for a reason. We were there to help each other through some struggles. There was a purpose we served. You taught me I could trust. You taught me I could love and give myself completely to another person. I've never been able to do that before. I never knew there would be a person that would make me want to do that. You also helped me realize exactly what I'm looking for in an eternal mate. I'm sure there is more, but I feel so much closer. I mean, I want you, but right now that isn't a possibility. Somewhere deep inside me, there is a place that knows that we are going to end up together, but as of right now it's not happening, so I'm moving on. I'll get over you.

I made a realization last night about the life before this one. I know that I knew you before. There was a reason you and I clicked so fast. I felt like I knew you from the beginning. And now I feel like I've known you my whole life. It was an amazing realization last night.

I also realized how much I'm going to be okay. While I hurt, I'm not alone, I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and a Savior who has felt this. I am not alone. While I may be physically very alone right now, spiritually I am not. I think this happening on General Conference weekend was a very good think. I was spiritually feed, and so were you. We were both in the best place possible for this to happen. I am so glad you were able to let me know and to free me. Thank you for that. And thank you for everything you are in my life. I love you, and miss you. But I am okay.

Timing

2010-10-02T23:49:00.000-06:00

Today I got the opportunity to go General Conference. I’ve been going through a rough time lately, last night brought everything to a major point of me having to deal with it. That could not have been better timing. I have been looking forward to GC for months. I love that I get the chance to go to the conference center every 6 months and listen to the voice of the prophets. Today was no exception. I had a few tickets, so I invited one of my best friends to come along with me. She agreed, and then asked if she could bring her boyfriend along. I totally agreed because I thought I’d have more people coming along with me. Every person I asked said they would come and then had to back out. It was a little disappointing, and then I realized I was going to be a major 3rd wheel with a very happy couple. I was starting to get a little anxious about this. Part of the reason I’ve been having such a hard time is because of a boy. I want to be a happy couple, but we aren’t. We aren’t even a couple at this point. So I was going to be watching them in all their bliss.

This morning, I had a change of opinion though. I realized how selfish I was being. Here I was, wallowing in self pity, and one of my good friends is absolutely happy. And this is my first time I get to see them together. I have known this girl, Non for 20+ years. She has always been a part of my life. We both meet C, her boyfriend, for the first time 4 years ago. They were reintroduced and now they are so happy.

I was struck with such a strong impression today as I was thinking about them. The Lord is ultimately in charge, and this is all done on His timing. Everything is completely on His time. While I may want something (or someone) bad, what matters in the long run is when it’s right in the Lord’s timing. I know that I’m going to be okay. I may be in pain currently, but it’s totally worth it. This is totally worth it, because someday, when I meet that bliss, when I meet that person that makes me so happy, and it’s returned on his end. It’s going to be so much sweeter. I am feeling this pain now in order to feel the beauty of true love later. I know it sounds cliché, but it’s so true. And someday it will be worth it.

I am so grateful for the Lord and all He does for me. I know that He loves me individually. I know that through Him I can do anything. This weekend is such an amazing weekend for me. I love the that this opportunity is afforded to me so that I can hear the words of the prophets as it applies to me.

The Innocence of a Child

2010-09-30T23:07:00.001-06:00

Every Thursday night, I get the opportunity to babysit. When I was younger, this was a great way to make money, however this has now changed. Instead this is my time to reconnect with youth, my time to escape from the ugliness of the world and have a tickle fight, or let a little girl play with my hair. Tonight was no exception. It started out a bit rough, today was a long day for the kids, so they were tired and a bit cranky. The boy had a reading assignment that needed to get done. However, he was not having this. Finally, in tears he called his parents to let them know he couldn't do it anymore. It moved me with how simple it was for the voice of his father to calm him down. All it took was to just hear his gentle reassurance and the boy was instantly less stressed. And while I still couldn't get him to think about reading, he was calm enough to move on to his other homework. Pajamas were on, and teeth got brushed. It was time for prayers. Due to the exhaustion of the kids (they were staring to get rowdy, I offered to say them. We knelt and the kids were quiet as we prayed.

Last night in institute, we talked about prayer, and what prayer is to us. This is actually something I have been thinking about since Sunday pretty intently. I realized as I was saying this prayer out loud, that is our phone call to dad. Our Father in Heaven has that soothing voice that can calm us down almost immediately. He is the one we call on our time of stress and need. Whenever I am feeling completely overwhelmed and the people he has left me with for this mortal existence aren't cutting it, I can get on my knees and cry out to Him. And while He doesn't take it away, He helps me to cope, to find a solution to make it through. He is my comfort. When I real need it, I can feel His arms around me as He offers his support and love.

After prays, we had some struggles get to bed, but finally I got the little girl to her room and I was leaving to take the boy to his. As we walked out, the little girl, M, asked if her brother could stay and snuggle for a bit. I smiled and said no, P needed to get to his own bed. I offered up myself for snuggling as soon as I made sure P was in bed. So it was.

I got all the lights turned off and went and laid with her in her bed. She was all excited as she showed me the different constellations on her ceiling. We talked about those for a bit. I asked her if she wanted me to leave or stay till she was asleep, she wanted me there. It got quiet and she whispered that it was too quiet sometimes, so I offered to sing to her as she fell asleep.

I started with my favorite primary song, a child's prayer. It brought tears to my eyes as I heard my voice breaking through the silence speaking these true words, Heavenly Father, are you really there, do you hear and answer every child's prayer? Some say that Heaven is far away, but I feel it close around me as I pray. Heavenly Father, I remember now, something that Jesus told disciples long ago, suffer the children to come to me, Father, in prayer, I'm coming now to thee.

As I was singing these words I wondered how many times throughout my life I had asked myself those same questions. Was He really there? Does He really hear me and answer me? And I remembered all the times I had felt my little piece of Heaven as I had prayed. I had felt His presence around me as I came to Him in prayer. Then I moved on to the second verse.

Pray, He is there. Speak, He is listening. You are His child, His love now surrounds you. He hears your prayers. He loves the children. Of such is the Kingdom, the Kingdom of Heaven.

As I sang those simple words, my heart burned. I know these are true, I know I am a child of God, and I know He loves me. I know He listens. Every night as I imagine myself going to sit on His big fluffy white couch to have my time win Him, I know He is there just for me.

I love being with these kids, while they are normal kids, get teach me so much every week. They see the best in everything and have such peace around them. Their simple testimonies of the gospel are so strong. You can feel their spirits just wanting to share with everyone. I am so grateful for my gentle reminder each week. They help me to keep myself aligned with the will if the Father and of my Savior.

Overheard at Work

2010-09-30T17:34:00.000-06:00

My desk is one of the first things that people see when they walk into the city offices. However I am not the first person that all people need to talk to. Also upstairs, but not as immediately visible is the court clerk. Because I work for such a small city, everything is fairly close. Today was an interesting day at the clerk's office. A man walked in who had some questions about his fine as it was due the next day and he didn't have the money to pay it. He didn't want a warrant put out and so was obviously quite worried. The court clerk was trying to explain things, but this guy wasn't getting them. As he was getting more confused and more frustrated, his voice became louder and more agitated. Soon it was possible for me to hear every word this man was speaking. He couldn't pay the fine tomorrow because he just got a job and obviously wasn't getting paid yet. He wAs worried because the judge had said pay the fine or 5 days in jail, and he didn't want to go to jail. He kept repeating over and over again, I shouldn't be paying this anyways. I didn't deserve this, it's not my fault, it's her word against mine, etc. Well this peaked my interest. I mean people always maintain their innocence, but I really wanted to know what this guy did. Then I got my wish.

Someone else came in that he knew to pay their fine and asked him what he was in for, so he started his rant. I'm obviously paraphrasing here and using my own words. Apparently he went into a local gas station and had paid for something. He had overpaid and needed approximately $5 back. This is where things got interesting. According to him, the girl at the register refused to give him his change. She stated that she didn't know how to give change. So the guy apparently called another gas station to try and get them to explain to the lady how to give change. He said he then called the manager of the station and she was apologizing all over the place. By the time he go off the phone, the cops had shown up to take him in. I was laughing hysterically. I would love to hear the other side of the story. Seriously.

The Road to Peace

2010-09-29T02:56:00.000-06:00

"God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."

Today as I was searching for a C.S. Lewis quote for my facebook status, I stumbled upon this little gem. Yes, I quote other people for my status updates. It's my newest trend. I find there is more truth in others words to uplift and give a bit of wisdom. This particular quote hit me hard today. Lately in my life, I have been feeling the benefits of peace and happiness more than ever. I've never really appreciated how that can truly be an asset to my life. I am putting the Lord first in my life and relying on Him completely more than I ever have before. I know I have a lot more to improve on, however, the Lord is the way to peace and happiness. Through Him you can receive the comfort and assurance that you are on the right path. If we stray away from Him, it only leads to confusion and anxiety. He is the way to truth. He is the way to peace. There will still be trials and tribulations. There has to be, that is all part of the learning process. What staying close to the Lord does is to give us the peace through the trials. To be the gentle reminder that everything is going to be okay. There are times in my life I can feel His arms wrap around me as He gives me the comfort I need to make it through. The Lord loves me. He loves each of us. If we strive to be close to Him, He will give us peace and happiness in this life.

Klondike Bar

2010-09-26T13:53:00.000-06:00

Today while in relief society, the teacher got up and asked, "what would you do for a Klondike bar?" The question went around a room a few times and one girl said she'd sing I'm a little teapot for it. The teacher didn't think that was good enough, and wanted some other options. So I raised my hand. I said I'd go into elder's quorum and propose to one of the guys. That got an immediate reaction. The teacher was all for it. The girls wanted to see it. Sometimes it's good to not care. I said that as long as the elder's were okay with it, I was all for it. The teacher went and checked, they were okay. So I marched right in. I went up to the friend that was sitting on the front row, got down on one knee and asked him to marry me. He took the ring I offered and said thanks. Haha not sure if that's a yes or a no. But whatever. I walked out and became a lot of people's hero today. And I got a Heath Klondike bar out of the mix. It was a delicious start to church. Yum! Now i just need my ring back...

Keys

2010-09-20T23:14:00.003-06:00

Today I broke the n, m, b, and h keys on my keyboard. It makes typing seriously frustrating... I never realized how much those keys were used. Seriously! I'm gonna have to go get some super glue tomorrow to fix them. That's for sure. Though on the bright side, I am for real going to appreciate having the keys back working right.

Can't Remember to Forget

2010-09-18T21:23:00.000-06:00

You walked into my life that day
And suddenly it was never the same.
You had me forgetting the way life was
Before you ever came.
It took me by surprise,
And I was freaking out.
My mind was so quickly occupied,
That I had no room for doubt.

You were all I ever wanted
You were everything and more
It was better than the best of dreams
I knew this was for sure.
As we made our way into the world
I knew we’d make it together.
But suddenly your thoughts changed
And we weren’t lasting forever.

I remember clearly
How you looked that night.
Your faced looked pained
And I could tell something wasn’t right.
I waited for you to start
I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear.
And as you started,
You confirmed my worst fear.

You listed all those reasons
And none of them made sense.
I found myself wishing
You had just stayed on the fence.
When you finish with what
You had to say
I sat stunned
And managed an okay.

You reached inside
And touched me deep.
It was something that I
Was willing to let you keep.
Yet somehow you decided
That I wasn’t ready yet.
And now you’re just another
I can’t remember to forget.

You walked out that night
Because I wasn’t ready yet
And now you’re just a memory
I can’t remember to forget.

Slow Service

2010-09-18T15:50:00.002-06:00

Today, I went window shopping with an old friend. We both managed to walk out of the mall having spent less than 20 dollars each. This is a huge accomplishment for us, as for the fact that normally when the 2 of us go to the mall together, we are going with the specific purpose of finding clothes. There were no clothes bought today. Wahoo! Just some gifts.

Well after perusing the mall, we found we had walked up quite the appetite, so we headed to the local Olive Garden to get some food. I was quite excited for the never ending pasta bowl with their delicious salad. Olive Garden was surprisingly busy... we only had to wait about 15 minutes to get seated though. Not too bad. We get seated, both of us are completely parched. I mean we've both been talking about getting a drink for the last 20 minutes. That's all we can focus on. However, we look over the menu while the waiting for our waiter to get there. About 10 minutes later he finally gets to our table and apologizes for the wait. I figure he was just a bit busy, but he would be giving us full attention from there on out. We gave him our drink orders and our food orders. He was surprised at the fact that we were already ready for it.

The two of us sat talking for a while longer. The salad and bread sticks arrived, but still no drinks. He informed us he couldn't carry the drinks with everything else, so he'd bring them back. That took another couple of minutes to get those... finally sweet relief. We settled in on the bread sticks and salad. Those were good, as always. The real food took another while to get out to us. The waiter noticed that our drinks were low. Another couple of minutes went by and finally another waiter brought us our drinks. A different one. I finished my food, and wanted another bowl to take home with me, and she had finished eating. We sat there for another 20 minutes not eating. No one looked at us. No one noticed we were done. Finally, the other waiter noticed something and went and said something to our waiter. It took him another 10 minutes to make it to us. He was all smiles, and acted like nothing had happened. We were completely shocked. He was fast getting us out of there, but lets just say that he didn't get a great tip.

I couldn't believe it. Both of us were completely flabberghast. We just sat in shock. I will not be going back to Olive Garden for a while. That's for sure. :)

Change

2010-09-15T23:57:00.001-06:00

It's coming... I can feel it. Everything about my life is changing. It's exciting to see where it's going really. In a matter of a month, everything could be completely different.

End of Another Year

2010-09-07T10:32:00.000-06:00

The Pool is officially closed. It feels so weird. I don't know entirely what to do now. When you go from craziness everyday to complete silence and no one around, it becomes a bit lonely. I love my job. I love all the challenges it brings, but I miss the pool when it's gone. Which is weird, I'm completely burnt out. I was getting to the point where I didn't want to show up to work anymore because I couldn't take another couple of minutes in that place. But now that it's gone, I miss it horribly. I miss all the guards, despite all the challenges they could bring, they make me smile. Seeing them each grow into the person they are becoming... it really is enriching. I miss it.

Funny Phone Coversations

2010-06-28T22:24:00.003-06:00

So today at the pool brought some interesting conversations either overheard, or I had them on the phone. The first was on the phone. Around 6 tonight, I received a phone call from a lady who had bought a season pass earlier that day. She explained to me that she needed to cancel the pass and get a refund as she had gone home to discuss this with her husband and he informed her that they didn't have the money to be able to afford this. I told her this was fine since she hadn't picked up her cards yet, we would just destroy them and refund her for the full amount minus the cost of coming to the pool that day. I explained our pool refund process and how long it would take, she thanked me and hung up.

Normal phone conversation right... well fast forward about 30 minutes later and the phone rings again. I look at the caller id and recognize the name as the same lady that called to cancel. I figured she was calling back to uncancel the season pass... this happens a lot actually. So I pick up with my normal phone greeting. She responds, "Uh yes, I called a bit ago and canceled my membership, well my husband needs to know that I actually canceled the membership, can you talk to him?" I was a bit flabbergast at this point, however I managed to say yes. So she hands the phone to husband. He gets on the phone, "Hi, I'm sorry for doing this, but my wife is extremely irresponsible when it comes to finances, she spends money when she shouldn't and today is a great example of this..." At this point, I was completely blown away. I couldn't believe this man was saying this about his wife. He continued, "I would appreciate it if you could please explain to me everything that has transpired today." So I told him in exact details the numbers and how his refund would be processed. At one point in this conversation, I told him the amount his wife had spent on the pool pass, he butted in with, "well that's great, she lied to me about the price too." The conversation ended without a thank you or a goodbye. I confirmed it would take about 2 weeks and the man hung up. Needless to say, the whole conversation left me a bit speechless.

The second conversation that made the day interesting was one that was overheard. Towards the end of the day a lady in her late 20's came in and asked to borrow the phone. From the beginning of the phone call, she had an annoyed fed up tone to her voice. Now I could only hear the conversation from her side, however that was enough, it went something like this, "Umm, can you come pick us up. We are stuck here and need a ride." "Well my phone is dead. I mean it's completely dead, and we don't have a car here to get home." "I can't take kindergartners on a road, there is no way I can walk with them all on State Street." "Well if one of your grandkids is dead by the time I get back, that's on your conscience." "Dude, we need a ride. I don't know where he is, he took my 4Runner and left." "What do you mean you wont be able to find us? It's not hard, you pull up to the pool and we are out in front of it." "Fine!"

The entire conversation was in a completely annoyed tone. It was hilarious. After she hung up, she gave a completely frustrated sigh, gave each of us in the office the evil eye roll. As soon as she left the office, we were all on the floor laughing. It was pretty much the best one sided phone conversation I've heard in a while.

Climbing the Rope Bridge

2010-06-17T21:53:00.000-06:00

So at the pool we have a super long bridge that crosses from the main pool deck over the lazy river to the island. It has a railing as well as a rope fence thing to keep people from falling off the bridge. There is pretty much no way to climb over this rope fence it would just be awkward. Climbing on the outside of the rope would be close to impossible as well as there isn't much space to walk. So the other day, one of the lifeguards was walking around that portion of the lazy river and came to the bridge. He heard a shout and looked up. Much to his surprise, he sees a kid hanging on the outside of the rope, about to fall off. The kid is really really short and super chubby, he looks at the lifeguard and says, "I can't hold on any longer! Should I jump?" The lifeguard is like, "No! Can you climb down?" The kid says there is absolutely no way he can climb down. The lifeguard tells him to hold on and gets the Head Guard on shift over to help him out. The head lifeguard came over and lifted him down... it took everything he had to get the kid down. The whole time the kid was yelling, "I can't hold on any longer, I can't hold on any longer!" When they asked the kid how he got up there, he replied with, "I don't know. I was just here." Yup... awesome.

Peeing in the Pool

2010-06-15T20:47:00.000-06:00

So recently, there have been a few complaints at the pool all having to deal with the same thing... and all describing the same person involved. Each person described a little African-American kid with a mohawk. From there is where the story gets interesting. Apparently he would watch the lifeguards as they are walking around the lazy river. He would wait until they had disappeared from sight and then he would hop out of the pool and stand on the side and start peeing on people as they went by in the lazy river. He has yet to be actually caught by a lifeguard. We now have at least 6 cases of this reported. I want to meet this kid, he is my new hero. Haha... he hasn't been back to the pool since we've heard about it, so when he does, we will be watching close.

The Light Up the Trail

2009-09-04T18:02:00.001-06:00

So recently, life has started to calm down, because the pool is starting to calm down for the summer. Taking this into consideration, my friend Tyler and I decided that we wanted to hike Mt. Timp one night and sit at the top to watch the sunrise. It's the thing everyone talks about doing in Provo, and neither of us had done it. So we planned a day to go, talked to friends about it got a group together and decided to head up the mountain. Luckily, we had someone with us who has done the hike before, so he was able to warn us of how cold it would be, as well as how long it was going to take, how tired we were going to be and all that. That being said, words never can fully prepare you for what is to come. Our group of 11 met at my apartment around 9 o'clock the night we had chosen. We got all our stuff together and loaded into Tyler's and I's cars. Spirits were high as we headed up Provo Canyon to our destination. It was still all fun and games at this point. I had some water bottles and food in my backpack along with gloves, a hat, a sweatshirt and another jacket. It was time to get started. We had about 4 flashlights for our whole group to climb up in the dark. This was definitely enough, though I'm sure everyone wished they had one.

The start up the hill was fun and lighthearted, I for one was singing my way up. Though if you know me, that's not unusual, I'm always singing my way along anywhere. Everyone was chatting and having a lot of fun as we went up. However it didn't stay that way for long. Suddenly the pavement ended, there was no more paved trail, it was all dirt from there on up (so I thought). The incline suddenly became a lot steeper. Soon it took all your effort to keep from falling. Walking up you couldn't see much because it was so pitch black, but you could feel that there was vegetation on either side. I personally am not a huge fan of nature, or touching things in nature. I was praying the whole way up that I wasn't touching anything super gross and that bugs weren't jumping all over me. As we got further up, you could hear the running water of the falls and all the little streams that run off of it. Soon, the ground beneath us was sloshing. Suddenly I knew I was walking through mud. Gross. I had passed off my flashlight to someone else by this point, so thankfully I wasn't able to see the gross of the mud on the ground. However I still had high spirits. I was excited we were actually doing this. By this point, we were about 2-3 hours into the hike. We had hit a series of switchbacks that were proving to be quite difficult, a couple of our group decided they couldn't do it anymore and headed back to the cars to go home (They took my car back and were going to come get us in the morning).

After these 2 left the group, we got even more quiet. Every now and then we would come to a look out ledge. Even at night, you could tell these were gorgeous. I was excited to see them in the daylight the next day. The climb was getting steeper, and it was definitely getting colder, though thankfully, we were all so warm because we were huffing and puffing our way up the mountain. The climb was pretty monotonous for the first 4-5 hours. We were just climbing up switchbacks on the side of a mountain face. Every now and then it would get scary, and we would have to scale sheer smooth rock to get across to the trail. It was crazy in the dark. A couple of the guys would get setup, one on either side of the rock face and would help the rest of us get across it. Then we'd go back to the monotony. After a while, things started to get a little bit easier as we reached a meadow. It was peaceful, the stars were beautiful, and you could hear a stream running nearby. Right after the meadow however, was an incline I've never seen the likes of. It was crazy steep and the dirt and rocks would shift underneath you. I was literally on my hands and knees to get up it. But once at the top of that, we were totally rewarded! We had reached Emerald Lake. Most of the 9 of us that were left made it to the top of the hill okay, however there were a couple of stragglers. So the 7 of us at the top of this hill found a nice little spot to settle down and take a small nap.

Yup we look pretty ridiculous.

After a short nap, we gathered our things to start going again. The 2 stragglers decided this was where they were going to stay until morning. There was no way they could make it up the rest of the way (one of the poor girls had the flu). So they camped out there and the rest of us continued up. From there, things got crazy. There was no longer a cut trail, just rocks and icy snowy drop off. I'm not kidding... if you stepped on a rock or the snow wrong, you would have tumbled down the entire mountain side. It felt like it was completely treacherous. I couldn't believe we were attempting this! That was probably one of the scariest parts of the hike for me. I was completely silent by this point. Finally after what seemed like the entire night, we reached the trail again. This was straight switchbacks, but at the top of these switchbacks was amazing. We had reached the Saddle Back. This is the point where you are at the top of the mountain and can finally see down the front and the back of the mountain. It was gorgeous. The lights in the cities below looked amazing and the stars were so clear and beautiful. We sat down at this point and got some more water and snacks. Tyler and I started to get antsy to get to the top of the mountain, so we got our things packed up to go. The rest of the group decided to stay behind at Saddle Back.

Tyler and I began the last leg of the journey. This was the hardest part. Often we were walking on really unsteady rocks and it was a drop-off to the cities below. There were a ton more people now, so you were constantly waiting on someone else, or having someone impatient pass you. There were some huge climbs where you were using your hands. But after about an hour, we made it to the top. It was just starting to get light. We found a seat and waited. As we watched, the sun started to come up over the horizon in front of us. I saw the most beautiful sunrise I've ever seen. It was absolutely amazing. The colors were so vibrant and amazing. After the sun was up, Ty and I went to go and sign the book they have at the top. It felt like such an accomplishment.

Tyler and I at the top

Then I realized... I had to climb back down what I had just climbed up. And on top of that, I actually was going to be able to see the drop-offs and the grossness this time. I was sooo not excited. However, the trip down was pretty uneventful. We were all exhausted. Tyler and I climbed back to Saddle Back and met up with the 5 we had left there, and then we all headed back down the mountain. It was interesting to see all the things we had climbed the night before and all the obstacles we had made it through in the dark. Even more interesting to see was what could have happened if we had happened to go the wrong way. I was completely enthralled and pretty deep in thought the rest of the climb down. We stopped at the falls and stuck our feet in. It felt amazing to have the cool water going over our hot sore, feet and my feet seriously did not want to go back in the shoes. All the bundling up that had happened the night before was quickly undone as the sun made the climb down hotter and hotter. But finally we made it back down to the bottom and met up with the last 2 from our group. We all just laid in the parking lot and waited for our ride to come and get us.

The Group after we finished

This was a truly amazing experience. I am so grateful that I got to do this. While I was hiking, I got so much time to think, and out there I felt so close to my Heavenly Father. I felt like the lines of communication had opened up in a way that I could only dream of. A lot of what has happened in my life thus far, suddenly began to make sense. Why I had the feeling to make certain decisions and such. I was also taught some beautiful lessons out there.

How often are we climbing up a steep trail in the dead of night? How often are we in complete darkness and scared, not knowing what gunk is underneath our feet, or what we are touching off to the side? I know that this happens to me a lot in life. I have no sense of what direction I'm going, or how what I'm doing affects my life. However out on the trail, we had a light, just a small one, that opened up what we could see enough so that we could make our way. It lit the pathway before us so that we could continue on the path unharmed. I was amazed to realize, this is how the Holy Ghost helps us. He opens up our light on the the trail to let us see where we are going and to give us the help that we need. If we rely on that help, we can make it to the top to see the beautiful dawn in our life. I know that through the help of our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ, my life is blessed and led in a direction that will bring me true happiness!

Gradumacated!!!

2009-08-15T14:43:00.000-06:00

It's official! The day has now come and gone when I graduated! I am now a graduate of Brigham Young University (kind of)! I say kind of because I still have to finish up my internship, so it won't actually be finalized until I get all that done. But still, it was exciting. I got to graduate with a friend from my major, as well as my cousin. It was a couple of really long days, but overall, so much fun! The past 4 1/2 years have been so crazy. I can't believe it's gone by so fast. Seriously! It seems like just yesterday (I know, I'm totally cliche) that I was walking on to BYU campus for the first time as a freshman. I know with all my heart that this is the place I was supposed to spend these years. The time I spent here I will cherish always. Thanks to the many great people I have met here... I have had times that I could only hope for in dreams before. This has been truly the most cherished experience of my life this far. I can only hope that life is going to be even better from here! Here's to BYU class of 2009!

Kaleb Enters the MTC

2009-08-05T20:33:00.000-06:00

So today we a really exciting day! My little brother went into the MTC! It was really exciting to have the whole family together in Utah for the occasion. Though the whole family (minus Kaleb of course) will be back for my graduation in a week. Kaleb is going to the Porto, Portugal mission! I'm so proud of him and excited for the opportunities that is going to bring!

Summer Craziness

2009-08-01T21:17:00.001-06:00

So this summer is proving to be absolutely amazing. Like Yeah... I am working at an amazing pool for my summer internship. Though because it's brand new, my life is one constant stream of working. I'm busy all the time and I love it. I was recently interviewed by a local newspaper on everything I do there. It is pretty much my favorite addition I've made to my life. There are crazy stories about the lifeguards and all the things that happen at the pool as well as craziness connected with our FlowRider. But it is all totally worth it. And so much fun. If you are interested in seeing the article, click Here!

That's the top of the FlowRider... I think it looks rather cool.

Catch Up

2009-05-03T17:34:00.002-06:00

It's been a while since my last post. Dang it... I need to get better at this whole thing. However, life took over and I got super busy. School has ended, another semester down and I'm only 4 months away from graduation!!! Who knew it would happen. Yes I passed all my classes. So now I only have to knock down this term, and I'll be done! I'm also doing my internship right now. So that's where life got super busy. Around the end of March, my boss at the pool I was working at received and email that a guy she knew was looking for staff at a brand new pool. She immediately emailed him back listing all my many qualifications. At this moment, I have now been the Pool Manager of the new Lindon Aquatics Center for about a month and a half. It has been the best experience of my life so far. I am learning so much everyday. I am involved in every operation of opening up this pool. It is a brand new facility that is still under construction right now. I currently am up to my neck in sorting through applications as well as designing t-shirts, setting up our computer software, forming all our policies and procedures as well as trying to get all the equipment ordered and getting people totally certified to work. It's craziness. Between everything I'm doing I'm working 10-12 hour days right now! It's so much, but totally worth it. This is unfortunately a pool that is only open for the summer, so the job only lasts through September, but the experience I'm gaining is totally invaluable!

Oreo Commercial

2009-03-10T22:10:00.003-06:00

Last year in my Marketing class, we had to come up with an advertisement for something that was already out there on the market. My group decided that we were going to make a commercial on Oreos. I have included here a link for you to see it. It makes me laugh.

Sorry the audio is so horrible. I was wearing the mike, so only my voice is really well picked up on.

Recycling...

2009-03-04T19:41:00.002-07:00

So I wrote this probably when I was 16... but I love it... so here we go!

As I was meandering down the lonely dark lane,
I came across an unseemly sight.
In the middle of this dreary way
Was a brightening power
Conquering and driving away the evil influences.
A tiny little flower,
Paving the way for more to follow,
To defeat the dark sadness called winter.
Though small and feeble,
The whiteness brightens the day like nothing before it,
Reminding of days gone past and better,
More fun times.
Of the sun and the green, green grass
And all the amenities of summer gone by.
One miniscule flower can refresh
And make new the overpowering force
That drives away the hopelessness that seeps into a world.

I Love My Boss....

2009-03-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

... and I'm not lying! She is amazing. So today I went to work and she pulled me into her office. I was just thinking she needed me to sign some papers from a class that I had taught with her, so I was shocked when yet again, she had lined up another possible job for me. No joke. They are building a new rec center a couple of cities over right now, and they are looking for some aquatics staff. So unbeknownst to me, she had emailed him all of my qualification and everything I've done so far in life. He quickly responded asking for my contact info... Ahh!!!! I don't know what I'm going to do if something comes from this, seriously. The internship we had talked about me doing with her was so exciting, but this is a life defining experience! I'm just going to wait it out and see what comes! Seriously... so excited!

Graduation!!!

2009-03-01T18:46:00.000-07:00

I recently decided that I'm going to graduate this year instead of wait another year, so I condensed all my classes into these 2 semesters. I have one class left for spring!!! I'm so excited. A few days ago, I was just sitting around waiting for my next class to start and I was like... ooo... I need to apply for graduation. So to make a really long story short, after dealing with the driest counselor on BYU campus, the bubbliest teacher on the campus and a few more people, I am now prepared to apply for graduation! I just need to remember to take my wallet up one of these days so that I can pay the fee to graduate. Why on earth is there a few to graduate? Seriously... 15 dollars so they can process your application? Slightly ridiculous seeing as I have paid close to 20,000 already... hmmph. But once that is in, I will have officially applied to graduate from this school! Now all that is left is I have to pass my classes from this semester, spring term and find and complete my internship. Phew... seems like a lot... but I think I can do it. As for the internship as of right now, I'm just planning on keeping my lifeguarding gig... should prove to be exciting! Okay... now just to stave off senioritis...

Starting Anew

2009-02-28T18:38:00.000-07:00

I swear every few months I resolve to begin blogging again... but it's happening yet again. We shall see if it actually holds this time, who knows. Life is going totally crazy right now, but I'm not going to post about all that right now... I'm going to slowly post about them, drag it out I guess. Haha... anyways, here goes nothing!

The Election

2008-11-12T08:10:00.003-07:00

Recently, there was an election. I'm assuming you know this unless you have been living in a bomb shelter. In that case, you wouldn't be reading this. Well I have been following this election and the candidates since 2006. I was a hardcore Mitt Romney fan. He seemed to represent everything that I thought was important and was fully ready to back him. Yes, I was that person. Then Romney dropped out. I stopped caring. My only interest in the election was moving to Australia if Clinton won. Well it finally came to the point where Clinton was out (thank goodness) and soon it was time to apply for an absentee ballot. I sent in my app... and waited... and waited... and waited... I soon realized that I had waited too long, and it was now too late. I was saddened to realize that I couldn't vote, the election that I had been following for so long. Now I won't say who I was planning on voting for. That isn't fair to either candidate, especially now that we have a new President Elect. I will say that I was and am prepared to support either candidate, whoever won. I'll come back to that thought later.

I was disappointed that my family had moved to Georgia. This meant that I was registered there, and not in California. As a California citizen I would have been able to vote on Prop 8. This was the election I actually cared about. I felt very strongly about voting for Prop 8. Not only had those in authority in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints spoken out about this, I felt that this was fundamentally wrong. Marriage is between a Man and a Woman. This is the way it was meant to be created. This was how it was originally ordained, and this is how it was meant to be. Now, I know that people are going to say this is because I'm a Mormon. Grow up people. The count was so close. There is not that percentage of LDS in California. How could we have controlled the vote like that. Not only that, there are some LDS that were against it. Others that have no left the Church because of this. Obviously the majority of California (LDS and non LDS) wanted this to pass. By the way, is violence and hatred really the answer? Why is it necessary for people to treat the church this way? Check out this article. Okay that is all I have to say on that subject.

Here is an excerpt from a talk by Neil A Maxwell. It really sums up my feelings.

“Discipleship includes good citizenship; and in this connection, if you are careful students of the statements of the modern prophets, you will have noticed that with rare exceptions--especially when the First Presidency has spoken out--the concerns expressed have been over moral issues, not issues between political parties. The declarations are about principles, not people, and causes, not candidates. On occasions, at other levels in the Church, a few have not been so discreet, so wise, or so inspired.

“But make no mistake about it, brothers and sisters; in the months and years ahead, events will require of each member that he or she decide whether or not he or she will follow the First Presidency. Members will find it more difficult to halt longer between two opinions.

“President Marion G. Romney said, many years ago, that he had "never hesitated to follow the counsel of the Authorities of the Church even though it crossed my social, professional, or political life.” This is a hard doctrine, but it is a particularly vital doctrine in a society which is becoming more wicked. In short, brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ. . . .

“Your discipleship may see the time when such religious convictions are discounted. . .. .

“This new irreligious imperialism seeks to disallow certain opinions simply because those opinions grow out of religious convictions. Resistance to abortion will be seen as primitive. Concern over the institution of the family will be viewed as untrendy and unenlightened. . . .

“It may well be, as our time comes to "suffer shame for his name", that some of this special stress will grow out of that portion of discipleship which involves citizenship. Remember that, as Nephi and Jacob said, we must learn to endure "the crosses of the world" and yet to despise "the shame of [it]". To go on clinging to the iron rod in spite of the mockery and scorn that flow at us from the multitudes in that great and spacious building seen by Father Lehi, which is the "pride of the world," is to disregard the shame of the world. Parenthetically, why--really why--do the disbelievers who line that spacious building watch so intently what the believers are doing? Surely there must be other things for the scorners to do--unless, deep within their seeming disinterest, there is interest.

“If the challenge of the secular church becomes very real, let us, as in all other human relationships, be principled but pleasant. Let us be perceptive without being pompous. Let us have integrity and not write checks with our tongues which our conduct cannot cash.

“Before the ultimate victory of the forces of righteousness, some skirmishes will be lost. Even these, however, must leave a record so that the choices before the people are clear and let others do as they will in the face of prophetic counsel. There will also be times, happily, when a minor defeat seems probable, that others will step forward, having been rallied to righteousness by what we do. We will know the joy, on occasion, of having awakened a slumbering majority of the decent people of all races and creeds--a majority which was, till then, unconscious of itself.

“Jesus said that when the fig trees put forth their leaves "summer is nigh". Thus warned that summer is upon us, let us not then complain of the heat.”

Neal A. Maxwell, “Meeting the Challenges of Today”, BYU Devotional, 10 October 1978

When I read this I was struck by the meaning of this. I have a lot of friends that are really mad because Obama was elected President. Now while I may not agree with all of his ideas, I do know that he was elected by the people. He was able to get the younger vote, and got more people to vote from the younger demographic than ever. I am amazed by his speech making. So while I may not agree with his policy, I do believe in supporting him. He was elected and he is the leader of our country. If we don't all unite, that is much worse than any policy that could be put in place. As made manifest by the 12th Article of Faith, "We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law." So in closing, though I didn't vote, I am going to sustain our President for as long as he is in office. I believe it is the right thing to do.

My Hero Trait

2008-09-16T14:02:00.002-06:00

So currently in my life, I am not wanting to be super social. I don't really know why this is. I have a feeling it is due to the fact that I recently moved. I don't really know anyone in my new area, nor have I had much of an opportunity to get to know people in my area. My roommates and I have recently taken up watching seasons on TV together. This isn't really that new for me. I tend to watch a lot of movies and seasons. I recently got huge into Heroes. I've been putting a lot of thought into what I would want my Hero trait to be. I think I would want Hiro's characteristic. I really want to be able to teleport, and stopping time would just be an added bonus. Do you realize how much money this would save? I would be able to just teleport everywhere... no airplanes, no need for cars... nothing. That would be awesome. I could go home whenever I wanted to (that is my biggest issue in life right now). That would be so freaking awesome! And the stopping of time. I don't know I could just get so much more done that way. Then I could go ahead and get the normal amount of sleep and such. It just seems like it would be the coolest one ever.

Shaping of the Life

2008-09-10T08:47:00.002-06:00

So here it is, two months after my last post. I've been horrible that way. Life has been one crazy mess of fun. In the past two months, I have decided to completely change every aspect of my life. So I am currently a student in college. I was planning on getting a couple of minors and graduating in a couple of years. The projected date was April of 2010. However, I was sitting at my house one night looking at my schedule for the fall and all the sudden I just felt like I needed to change everything. So I did. I did all the math and realized that if I dropped my minors, I could graduate in the next year. So I put everything in motion. Within days I had all my classes worked out and I had talked to all the right people and now I am set to walk in April of this next year. Then after my internship, I will get my diploma in August. It was crazy how it all changed.

Well after I changed my life plan as far as school, things started going south with all of my current friends. I started getting used. And I started having all these relationships that had been going for years that suddenly just stopped working. People just disappeared. I had been living in the same place for 3 years and I just felt like I was suffocating and needed to get out. So now I've moved to a totally different part of town (it's actually closer to work and my classes, which is nice).

Now I'm not quite sure why all this is happening. In fact, it's driving me insane because I'm so lost in life right now. I don't know what I'm going to do when I graduate, I also don't know what I'm going to do this weekend. I don't have the friends that I had before, and I've been to busy to meet people in my new area. But I know that this is right, I know that there is a plan in my life that is being set in motion. It's a weird feeling, but it's crazy cool.

Wendy Peffercorn?

2008-06-07T00:54:00.001-06:00

I am a lifeguard. I take great pleasure in saying the previously stated sentence. It means a lot to me, I am highly trained, I take it seriously and I love what I do. I get paid to sit around in a swimsuit and get a tan. I watch stupid people make stupid mistakes and get paid good money to do it. I swear all I do all day is yell walk. In fact I’m pretty sure most the kids at the pool think I only know a few phrases, walk being the number one. In fact most days I feel like a broken record. But once we get past that, I do actually love my job. It has knowledge on how to save people’s lives. Not only do I know that, but I love to study it. Recently I went and got my Lifeguarding Instructor Certification. This means that I can now teach lifeguarding classes, and instruct today’s youth on how to also save lives.

I feel like I have a new found power that slightly scares me. I have been recertifying a lot of old lifeguards that just need to stay current. This is totally fine to me. I don’t mind this at all, they already have the knowledge, so they just ask a few questions, take the tests, and we are good. However, I helped out teaching an actual lifeguarding class this past week. I was only there a couple days, but I was left alone to teach what you do if you think someone has hurt their spine. This is a long and complicated process that you have to do completely perfect in order to ensure that you don’t injure the victim anymore. Also this has to be done super fast in order to keep the victim comfortable and make sure they are breathing. Well I wasn’t given a whole lot of time to teach this, so I taught it the best I could, trying to pass on all my knowledge to these wanting minds (not, they didn’t really want to be there at this point). Well a couple of these kids I work with.

This is a good and bad thing. Good, because a couple of the people are actually really good at what they have learned. They totally understood what I was saying and did everything with complete confidence. The bad side is because some of these people can’t save someone’s lives if their live depended on it. They did well enough to pass the test and all, don’t get me wrong, they just froze up a bit under pressure. I had to calm them down before they could think properly. So when I have a shift with these people at work it may cause me some issues. That I will have to get over.

But back to the good. Today I showed up to work and the supervisor told me that they had the first spinal rescue of the year. I was like wow, I wish I had been here (I’ve never been a part of one before in all my years of guarding). She was like yeah, Emily did it (name has been changed). Well Emily is a girl that I taught to do spinals yesterday and I certified today. She had been on duty for like 15 minutes for the first time ever when it happened. Well apparently it all went smoothly and she did an amazing job. But wow… talk about responsibility. (Oh by the way, the kid had just hit his head and after EMS checked him out, he went back to playing). I mean seriously, I trained that girl. If I had taught her wrong something could have gone totally wrong. Hmmm… You never saw anything like that in the Sandlot… Blast!

What is Odd?

2008-05-21T01:27:00.003-06:00

So totally unexpectedly tonight I got the opportunity to see Prince Caspian, which I have been dying to see since I saw the first Narnia movie. It was in a word, Amazing. The movie not only met my expectations, but far succeeded them beyond anything I could hope for. Two very hot men to stare at (granted one had the worst fake accent I've ever heard, but hey he was gorgeous with his mouth closed), action, and everything beautifully played out on screen. The camera cuts were amazing. Put together beautifully. I'm sure there will be those that disagree, but I was totally enthralled. Even knowing how it was going to end (having ready the book over 3 dozen times) I still was frightened that everything wasn't going to go as planned. Not to mention every 5 seconds or so, my friend or I would lean over and be like, look at the Gospel implication there!! Isn't C.S. Lewis amazing?!?

Now I mentioned earlier, I've read the book over 3 dozen times. I loved these books as a child. I read them every 6 months or so, if not more. They were a series I could finish in a matter of days, sometimes a little over a week, and it got better every time. I felt like I knew each person, almost as if I was an extra character in the book. In fact my dreams were filled with scenes from the books constantly, as well as in my daydreams. It was my respite from reality. Narnia was my world. I lived there for a good chunk of my childhood. Still today, I see the characters in my head. I can't picture them now as I use to back then, because the characters from the movies stare back at me now. However, I still play out what it was like.

I was expecting to go and see Prince Caspian and have it be worse than the first movie, and totally fail to what I had created in my head. However, I was horribly wrong. It was as if someone had reached inside my head and created my world on screen, only improved it on a few of my blurry points. I was utterly impressed. Here was the world that I had dreamed about for all the world to see. Everyone could understand my world now. Though, I don't really talk in the language, and I never was ridiculed as the Pevensie children for I never talked about my secret world, it felt good to see it on the screen.

I am still the odd child that I always was. I am outwardly very sociable, and I love to be around people. However, inside I would rather just be curled up with a good book or movie going. I love having a world going in my head, recreating what my interpretation of what an author had in their head. I'm not creative enough for my own stories, so I use other people's bases to get my story going. It is my way of life and it totally works for me :)

Unrequited Love

2008-05-13T01:06:00.001-06:00

So sadly... I'm reusing an old poem for the post of the night. It fits though... it's what is on my mind... so I thought I would just reuse it. Enjoy :)

Unrequited Love

I walk into the room
And see you across the crowd.
You come up next to me, to say hello
Because the place is loud.
You know who I am,
You call me a friend
And though it kills me
That role, I pretend.

My stomach begins to flutter
Because you are there
My heart completely skips a beat
Yet you are unaware.
My lips are tingling
From that kiss
That will never happen
And is mine to miss.

You’ll never know
For I cannot tell
But of my love
I wish to yell.
Inside, a whispered fear
Keeps me silent
It tells me of your reaction
The rejection spitted so violent.

I know there could be
Possibly another ending
But if I thought it true,
I’d just be pretending.
So this subject
That is not undreamed of
Is just another classic case
Of unrequited Love.

Writing for the Sake of Writing

2008-05-12T21:55:00.000-06:00

I have discovered recently (okay more like the past year) that I am completely unable to find something to write about. It's just not working for me right now. I can't seem to string words together into any fashion that comes out making sense or really about any subject. My ideas about things always seem to be lame or just catty. And I hate lame and catty. So instead I just don't write. So as you can see I haven't posted anything in my blog since October. Not only that, I really hadn't posted before that since May a year ago. I'm lame.

Though I did have an interesting thought tonight. I realized tonight through a random game that was played that my first childhood dream was to be a hitchhiker when I grew up. I didn't want to be a singer or an ice skater (those all came later) I wanted to be a hitchhiker. I thought it was so cool that people would stand on the side of the highway and hold out their thumbs and that people in the cars knew that this meant that they needed a ride. Then if they had enough room people would stop and pick them up. This was a cheap way to travel. In my little mind, this totally worked.

So now I ponder the reasons that I am not a professional hitchhiker. I seriously would love to travel from one side of the nation to the other by way of hitchhiking. Though I just told a friend that he should... then he informed me that his cousin was killed as a hitchhiker. So there is strike one against my glorious plan. I also would still have to have money for food. I don't have all that much money. I guess that I could stop occasionally in towns and work for food, but that would mean I would then need lodging as well. So there is strike two. I'm pretty sure hitchhiking is illegal in some places... therefore I have now discovered strike three.

Well as much as I would like to do this I think I'm going to stick to the old fashioned way of just driving myself across the nation, or flying someday. However, if I do hitchhike, I'll let you know how it goes.

My Life Should Be A Play

2008-05-10T15:25:00.000-06:00

It wouldn't be entertaining at all... in fact I would probably have to pay people to sit through it. However, it is filled with drama. Generally not my own, because I'm not that cool, but rather with other peoples. Wherever I go, I seem to be a magnet for spill of the drama. I can handle it from those I'm close to and those I know it is going to come from, but somehow it just always seems to spill out. I know that I do create some drama with decisions I make, and I'm more than definitely cool with that. In fact, I like my drama generally. It is that drama that is created by others. Such as... so and so told so and so to tell me to tell you this. Man I feel like I'm back in middle school again.

Drama because someone made a promise and broke it and went behind peoples backs. Seriously... just talk to each other. How hard is that? Deal with the problem, talk it out and then it is over. That is all it takes. Seriously... how hard is it to face a problem head on? I'm so sick of the drama. What did Kim Possible use to say? So not the drama? Haha... that's my new motto.

This Is Halloween

2007-10-31T11:07:00.001-06:00

October 31, The day of the dead, All Hallows Eve. The day originally started as a pagan festival that was at the end of the harvest. It was thought that October 31 was the day that the worlds between the living and the dead crossed over. Those that were deceased would come back to live and wreak havoc on the lives of the living. They festivities often included a bonfire, wearing of bones, masks and costumes to mimic what they thought of the dead. When the Romans entered the scene, they brought their own traditions to add in. Along with celebrating the dead, they celebrated the Goddess, Pomona who's symbol was the apple.

As we look now, we still many traditions that have basis in the original festival. We all dress up for a day mimicking something else. Even down to the apples (bobbing for apples) and bones. It's the one day of the year where everyone can become someone they aren't. It gives a sense of confidence. People do things that they would never consider doing on any other day. Often times there are a lot of things that happen that people wake up the next day and say, what happened...

Some people hate the holiday. I have a friend that is so deathly afraid of clowns, she never goes out on Halloween on the off chance that she may see a clown. Then there are those that love it. I am one in that category. Already this Halloween I have worn two different costumes and may put on a third later. I haven't decided that one yet. There are those that like it for different reasons. Some enjoy scaring others and plan all fall for their scare night. Some use it to escape back to their childhood. In a way that was me this year. My first costume was Flora, the pink fairy from Sleeping Beauty. Right now, I am wearing a beautiful black dress with a tiara and wings, being a fairy princess. What does every little girl want to be? Haha... yeah that's me.

My favorite is the guys who decide not to have inhibitions and use the holiday to expose themselves to the world. My date last year decided to wear just spandex... I can't even remember what his costume was. Already twice this year I have encountered guys that were some form of Tarzan. Just a loincloth. I laugh when guys say that Halloween is just an excuse for girls to wear lingerie and put on rodent ears and call it a costume. That statement is true in most universes (just not most of BYU). However, guys can't judge because they do the exact same things.

I personally love the holiday because it is my escape for the day. I get to be a different person and I get to play that part. Whatever happens, happens. I take everything in such a good way, nothing can phase me while I am in costume. It is a great day... my favorite holiday. This is Halloween...

Conundrums

2007-05-17T20:03:00.000-06:00

You always want what you can’t have… Apparently, because that is what “they” say. One, who is they? Two, is this true? Do I want what I can’t have? Am I attracted to something because it is forbidden to me? Interestingly enough, since the last time I wrote, I’ve had some experience with this in my own life.

All through my life, I have been told that certain things are wrong. They were not so much forbidden topics as just forbidden to do. Naturally being human, this drew me towards them, had me curious. I pushed the limits wanting to know more why they were forbidden to me. And then one day, I just broke all the rules. I didn’t understand why they were forbidden and I decided that for me, they weren’t. By breaking these rules, I suddenly could have it. But I still wanted it, of course it did take away the mystery and suddenly, though I enjoyed what I found, I wasn’t as drawn to it.

So in my opinion yes, you do always want what you can’t have. Not being able to have it will draw you in, and once you have it, it may lose its savor, or it may stay just as sweet. Everyone wants though what they can’t have.

Unbuttered Popcorn

2006-12-24T23:39:00.001-07:00

So I have a roommate who hates to watch movies. She really can’t sit through most, thinks they are a waste of time. She looks at me and thinks I am crazy. I watch almost a movie a day. Really, I cannot function without it. So she looks at me and wonders why do I waste my time in such a fashion. I even sometimes wonder if she thinks I’m lazy. So yesterday, my mom and I went shopping. I started talking to her about this movie thing and how worried I was about my roommate. Suddenly my mom says, “Kara, she just doesn’t realize what movies do for you.” And that was the end of that part of the conversation.

But as I sat there thinking about what she had just said, I realized what she said was true. I had just been focusing on the fact that I watch a lot of movies, not my reasons for it. Normally I turn one on for background noise, I can’t focus unless I hear people talking. But that is just reason number one. Certain movies help me sleep. Others are comfort things. All movies help me to get rid of stress. Really if I need an escape that is were I turn. For me, it isn’t a waste of time, it helps me clear time.

Movies are my respite from reality. It’s funny, it’s almost as if they give me the rest I get with a nap, but still I’m awake. I always feel recharged after a movie. Somehow, but sitting in front of the tube, I get more done. It’s funny thought, I’ve been like this for most of my life, and I’m just realizing this now. It’s a great realization though.

History

2006-12-08T08:11:00.000-07:00

So today I was sitting in my history class and the question was posed, “Why do some people carry more cargo?” Now the application in class had something to do with natural resources and that sort of stuff, but it got me thinking. Why do some people carry more cargo? We happen across people who are so carefree and seem to have no burdens weighing down on them. But then there are others that seem to have more than their share weighing down on them. So what is the difference?
One of the things that I have noticed about those that are burdened down by more than their fair share of cargo is that they do have more than their share. They tend to have had a life that lays burdens on them, but only because they see all those burdens. And then in order to make their load seem heavier, they take on others burdens. They begin to feel the pain of others. It is almost in an effort to get others to notice them. I don’t know if this is true, it’s just what I’ve noticed.
Those that are carefree are those that the rest of us envy. We all wish that we could push away all our cares. I have two possible explanations for this mentality. There are those people that honestly know how to just forget about things. They just don’t even realize that there is something there to bug them. The second is that people have actually begun to fully understand the atonement. At this point, people can learn to let Christ take their burdens. These people who have found true peace are the ones who I want to learn to be like. I don’t have more than my share of burden, but I do have my burdens. I want to become one of those that can share my load with the Savior.

Eating Toast

2006-12-06T23:42:00.000-07:00

So I know that I want to write. but I don't know what to write about. Basically, no inpiration is flowing. So I'm going to just type. I've been wanting to write something funny. And so I've been putting off writing because I didn't have anything funny to write about. I even started trying to think about funny stuff. But then I realized, I'm not funny, that's not me. Okay I don't mean that I'm absolutely straight faced, no joking allowed. I can be funny at times. But never intentionally. I realized that anytime I set out to be funny, I'm not. Guess I can't get a job as a comedian. Rather, I just never hold my tongue and I say everything that pops into my head. Apparently, people sometimes find me funny.

So in reality, I'm actually very serious, just when it comes to writing. I have a lot of thoughts that are running through my head that want to come out, but they don't tend to come out in real conversation, or I just don't want to talk about them with whom ever. So instead I write about them here. They just manifest themselves in written form. And though no one can respond to what I'm saying, I don't need that. It just helps me to sort through everything that is going on in this head of mine. There is way too much stuffed in there. Because of that, I'm stressing way too much, and I can't sleep at night because my mind wont hold still. Okay, now I'm getting in on my problems, and that doesn't need to happen. Ta ta for now.

I Think, therefore I Exist

2006-12-05T01:01:00.000-07:00

Originally credited to René Descartes is the statement “Cogito, ergo sum” meaning I think, therefore I am. Though he was wrongly credited, he never actually said this. Descartes only said, “Cogito, sum.” This translates to I think, I am. The therefore definitely adds a new meaning. But in reality, I don’t care. I’ve given this some thought as of late.

I’m in college right, and there are times when I feel absolutely stupid. Professors try to make you look stupid and put forth tests to confirm that. To have any success at this school, you either have to be super smart, or you have to give up any semblance of a life. Which I have now basically done. I sacrifice some school and some life, but now I’m working on top of things, and so my life is spread way to thin. But too much complaining.

There are some people that I talk to, when they open their mouths I wonder, do they put any thought into anything? I don’t mean this in any rude way. But you know what I’m talking about. I seriously wonder sometimes if people actually think, I mean I know they think, but I wonder if they have had a deep thought ever in their lives. I think one could exist without ever putting forth an original thought of their own.

On the other hand, everyone is always thinking about something, even if it is what nail color they should get for their manicure. It’s not possible to stop thought entirely. I wonder if we could stop thought, would it cause death? I believe that it would. Think about it, people in hospitals, the ones that are considered vegetables, they have no brain activity. Because of this, they have to be kept alive on a ventilator. They aren’t truly alive, a machine is what is doing it for them.

But is this really what Descartes means, that we have to think of we die. I don’t know. I can see another take. By thinking, we put out original thought, and if we actually voice that thought, we become and individual. Suddenly, we become a recognizable part of society. We are there. Thought gives us a name, thought helps us to live. We do more than just occupy space. When one thinks, one exists.

Comparing my Love Life to the War Chapters of the Book of Mormon

2006-12-04T23:32:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have never read the Book of Mormon, it is an amazing book that has changed my life. Literally, I would not be the same without this book. It teaches so many profound yet applicable things. In 1 Nephi 19:23 it reads, “And I did read many things unto them which were written in the books of Moses; but that I might more fully persuade them to believe in the Lord their Redeemer I did read unto them that which was written by the prophet Isaiah; for I did liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning.” So I’m following the advice of Nephi and likening the scriptures to my life, my love life to be exact.

Not that my love life is all that happening, it’s actually pretty non-existent. The one guy I really like lives so freaking far away, and the other one that I could possibly be interested in, yeah he pretty much has no interest in me. Though everyone that sees us interact has a belief that he does. I don’t completely know.

As of today I’ve noticed a correlation between the War Chapters of Alma and love, well actually life in general. As those of you who know the Book of Mormon know, the War Chapters are just that, about war. But it goes deeper than that. Contention is of the devil. Each war was started by Satan. This is the same in our lives. Satan is constantly waging a war against us and our emotions. When we like someone, doubts are put into our mind. We begin to question ourselves, if we are worthy of such a beau. It can go as deep as questioning our life and body issues. Satan slowly creeps in and tries to make us as miserable as he is.

When we overcome these doubts and land the guy or girl of our dreams (currently anyway), he changes strategies and wages new war. Suddenly he tries to lower our defenses and lull us into a sense of false security. If we had boundaries before as to what lines we would not cross, they began to fade. He rationalizes, he tries to confuse us. In Alma 47, Amalikiah shows us all the tactics of Satan.

Because we can begin to know our enemy, we can start to build up our defenses against him. Throughout the rest of Alma and most of Helaman, we are shown examples of the great men who lead the Nephites away from destruction. The fortifications that they use to protect there cities are very symbolic of what we can do to protect our lives. We are shown examples of staying as far away from the adversary and boundaries as possible. If we stay a mile away at all times than we have no fear of crossing them. Another great leader shows us to keep reservoirs. Journal writing, write when Satan has let down on the attack so that when he is at his strongest, we can go back and see how much we do truly know.

Most of all, we are shown that it is by the little things we can overcome. Just living what we know to be right, day by day. Always just striving for truth. If we try, ultimately, we can destroy him and learn what it means to truly know success with the Lord.

Surprising I know, but I can be serious at times.

7-up and Sherbet

2006-12-04T19:35:00.000-07:00

So I have recently been thinking about two aphorisms. The first that I will address: It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Is this true? Do we want to shelter ourselves from the pain? In my mind, we shouldn't stop ourselves. We should put ourselves out there. How can I know the happiness and joy of love if I never experience the pain of heartbreak? I have recently discovered that I have been trying to shelter myself. I haven't been putting myself out there. And do you know what I've discovered, that you still get hurt. Even if you don't put yourself out there, people still manage to hurt you. So instead, I'm now going to try to break down my barriers and put everything out. I'm going to take the jump and hope someone catches me. And if I fall, oh well. From the movie Batman Begins, "Why do we fall sir? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up again."
The next cliché I want to discuss: All is fair in Love and War. This is completely one hundred percent true in my opinion. Okay minus one. Chicks before dicks. You never ever ever steal the boyfriend of a friend. Anyone you would even consider close to a friend. That is off limits. An ex's well depending on the situation those are too. But occasionally I deam this alright. Other than this exception, I say all is fair. Let out all stops.
I've also had arranged marriages on my mind as of late. I think that we should have arranged marriages brought back. Honestly, my parents would choose someone who was extremely good-looking and an amazing person to boot. As far as chemistry, that can be aquired. Then I could stop this whole dating thing. But if we refer to above, I am going to put myself back out there, so I guess that I should just hold out and wait.