The Innocence of a Child

Every Thursday night, I get the opportunity to babysit. When I was younger, this was a great way to make money, however this has now changed. Instead this is my time to reconnect with youth, my time to escape from the ugliness of the world and have a tickle fight, or let a little girl play with my hair. Tonight was no exception. It started out a bit rough, today was a long day for the kids, so they were tired and a bit cranky. The boy had a reading assignment that needed to get done. However, he was not having this. Finally, in tears he called his parents to let them know he couldn't do it anymore. It moved me with how simple it was for the voice of his father to calm him down. All it took was to just hear his gentle reassurance and the boy was instantly less stressed. And while I still couldn't get him to think about reading, he was calm enough to move on to his other homework. Pajamas were on, and teeth got brushed. It was time for prayers. Due to the exhaustion of the kids (they were staring to get rowdy, I offered to say them. We knelt and the kids were quiet as we prayed. 

Last night in institute, we talked about prayer, and what prayer is to us. This is actually something I have been thinking about since Sunday pretty intently. I realized as I was saying this prayer out loud, that is our phone call to dad. Our Father in Heaven has that soothing voice that can calm us down almost immediately. He is the one we call on our time of stress and need. Whenever I am feeling completely overwhelmed and the people he has left me with for this mortal existence aren't cutting it, I can get on my knees and cry out to Him. And while He doesn't take it away, He helps me to cope, to find a solution to make it through. He is my comfort. When I real need it, I can feel His arms around me as He offers his support and love. 

After prays, we had some struggles get to bed, but finally I got the little girl to her room and I was leaving to take the boy to his. As we walked out, the little girl, M, asked if her brother could stay and snuggle for a bit. I smiled and said no, P needed to get to his own bed. I offered up myself for snuggling as soon as I made sure P was in bed. So it was. 

I got all the lights turned off and went and laid with her in her bed. She was all excited as she showed me the different constellations on her ceiling. We talked about those for a bit. I asked her if she wanted me to leave or stay till she was asleep, she wanted me there. It got quiet and she whispered that it was too quiet sometimes, so I offered to sing to her as she fell asleep. 

I started with my favorite primary song, a child's prayer. It brought tears to my eyes as I heard my voice breaking through the silence speaking these true words, Heavenly Father, are you really there, do you hear and answer every child's prayer? Some say that Heaven is far away, but I feel it close around me as I pray. Heavenly Father, I remember now, something that Jesus told disciples long ago, suffer the children to come to me, Father, in prayer, I'm coming now to thee. 

As I was singing these words I wondered how many times throughout my life I had asked myself those same questions. Was He really there?  Does He really hear me and answer me?  And I remembered all the times I had felt my little piece of Heaven as I had prayed. I had felt His presence around me as I came to Him in prayer. Then I moved on to the second verse. 

Pray, He is there. Speak, He is listening. You are His child, His love now surrounds you. He hears your prayers. He loves the children. Of such is the Kingdom, the Kingdom of Heaven. 

As I sang those simple words, my heart burned. I know these are true, I know I am a child of God, and I know He loves me. I know He listens. Every night as I imagine myself going to sit on His big fluffy white couch to have my time win Him, I know He is there just for me. 

I love being with these kids, while they are normal kids, get teach me so much every week. They see the best in everything and have such peace around them. Their simple testimonies of the gospel are so strong. You can feel their spirits just wanting to share with everyone. I am so grateful for my gentle reminder each week. They help me to keep myself aligned with the will if the Father and of my Savior. 

Overheard at Work

My desk is one of the first things that people see when they walk into the city offices.  However I am not the first person that all people need to talk to. Also upstairs, but not as immediately visible is the court clerk. Because I work for such a small city, everything is fairly close. Today was an interesting day at the clerk's office. A man walked in who had some questions about his fine as it was due the next day and he didn't have the money to pay it. He didn't want a warrant put out and so was obviously quite worried. The court clerk was trying to explain things, but this guy wasn't getting them. As he was getting more confused and more frustrated, his voice became louder and more agitated. Soon it was possible for me to hear every word this man was speaking. He couldn't pay the fine tomorrow because he just got a job and obviously wasn't getting paid yet. He wAs worried because the judge had said pay the fine or 5 days in jail, and he didn't want to go to jail. He kept repeating over and over again, I shouldn't be paying this anyways. I didn't deserve this, it's not my fault, it's her word against mine, etc. Well this peaked my interest. I mean people always maintain their innocence, but I really wanted to know what this guy did. Then I got my wish. 

Someone else came in that he knew to pay their fine and asked him what he was in for, so he started his rant. I'm obviously paraphrasing here and using my own words. Apparently he went into a local gas station and had paid for something. He had overpaid and needed approximately $5 back. This is where things got interesting. According to him, the girl at the register refused to give him his change. She stated that she didn't know how to give change. So the guy apparently called another gas station to try and get them to explain to the lady how to give change. He said he then called the manager of the station and she was apologizing all over the place. By the time he go off the phone, the cops had shown up to take him in. I was laughing hysterically. I would love to hear the other side of the story. Seriously. 

The Road to Peace

"God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."

Today as I was searching for a C.S. Lewis quote for my facebook status, I stumbled upon this little gem. Yes, I quote other people for my status updates. It's my newest trend. I find there is more truth in others words to uplift and give a bit of wisdom. This particular quote hit me hard today. Lately in my life, I have been feeling the benefits of peace and happiness more than ever. I've never really appreciated how that can truly be an asset to my life. I am putting the Lord first in my life and relying on Him completely more than I ever have before. I know I have a lot more to improve on, however, the Lord is the way to peace and happiness. Through Him you can receive the comfort and assurance that you are on the right path. If we stray away from Him, it only leads to confusion and anxiety. He is the way to truth. He is the way to peace. There will still be trials and tribulations. There has to be, that is all part of the learning process. What staying close to the Lord does is to give us the peace through the trials. To be the gentle reminder that everything is going to be okay. There are times in my life I can feel His arms wrap around me as He gives me the comfort I need to make it through. The Lord loves me. He loves each of us. If we strive to be close to Him, He will give us peace and happiness in this life. 

Klondike Bar

Today while in relief society, the teacher got up and asked, "what would you do for a Klondike bar?" The question went around a room a few times and one girl said she'd sing I'm a little teapot for it. The teacher didn't think that was good enough, and wanted some other options. So I raised my hand. I said I'd go into elder's quorum and propose to one of the guys. That got an immediate reaction. The teacher was all for it. The girls wanted to see it. Sometimes it's good to not care. I said that as long as the elder's were okay with it, I was all for it. The teacher went and checked, they were okay. So I marched right in. I went up to the friend that was sitting on the front row, got down on one knee and asked him to marry me. He took the ring I offered and said thanks. Haha not sure if that's a yes or a no. But whatever. I walked out and became a lot of people's hero today. And I got a Heath Klondike bar out of the mix. It was a delicious start to church. Yum! Now i just need my ring back... 

Keys

Today I broke the n, m, b, and h keys on my keyboard. It makes typing seriously frustrating... I never realized how much those keys were used. Seriously! I'm gonna have to go get some super glue tomorrow to fix them. That's for sure. Though on the bright side, I am for real going to appreciate having the keys back working right.

Can't Remember to Forget

You walked into my life that day
And suddenly it was never the same.
You had me forgetting the way life was
Before you ever came.
It took me by surprise,
And I was freaking out.
My mind was so quickly occupied,
That I had no room for doubt.

You were all I ever wanted
You were everything and more
It was better than the best of dreams
I knew this was for sure.
As we made our way into the world
I knew we’d make it together.
But suddenly your thoughts changed
And we weren’t lasting forever.

I remember clearly
How you looked that night.
Your faced looked pained
And I could tell something wasn’t right.
I waited for you to start
I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear.
And as you started,
You confirmed my worst fear.

You listed all those reasons
And none of them made sense.
I found myself wishing
You had just stayed on the fence.
When you finish with what
You had to say
I sat stunned
And managed an okay.

You reached inside
And touched me deep.
It was something that I
Was willing to let you keep.
Yet somehow you decided
That I wasn’t ready yet.
And now you’re just another
I can’t remember to forget.

You walked out that night
Because I wasn’t ready yet
And now you’re just a memory
I can’t remember to forget.

Slow Service

Today, I went window shopping with an old friend. We both managed to walk out of the mall having spent less than 20 dollars each. This is a huge accomplishment for us, as for the fact that normally when the 2 of us go to the mall together, we are going with the specific purpose of finding clothes. There were no clothes bought today. Wahoo! Just some gifts.

Well after perusing the mall, we found we had walked up quite the appetite, so we headed to the local Olive Garden to get some food. I was quite excited for the never ending pasta bowl with their delicious salad. Olive Garden was surprisingly busy... we only had to wait about 15 minutes to get seated though. Not too bad. We get seated, both of us are completely parched. I mean we've both been talking about getting a drink for the last 20 minutes. That's all we can focus on. However, we look over the menu while the waiting for our waiter to get there. About 10 minutes later he finally gets to our table and apologizes for the wait. I figure he was just a bit busy, but he would be giving us full attention from there on out. We gave him our drink orders and our food orders. He was surprised at the fact that we were already ready for it.

The two of us sat talking for a while longer. The salad and bread sticks arrived, but still no drinks. He informed us he couldn't carry the drinks with everything else, so he'd bring them back. That took another couple of minutes to get those... finally sweet relief. We settled in on the bread sticks and salad. Those were good, as always. The real food took another while to get out to us. The waiter noticed that our drinks were low. Another couple of minutes went by and finally another waiter brought us our drinks. A different one. I finished my food, and wanted another bowl to take home with me, and she had finished eating. We sat there for another 20 minutes not eating. No one looked at us. No one noticed we were done. Finally, the other waiter noticed something and went and said something to our waiter. It took him another 10 minutes to make it to us. He was all smiles, and acted like nothing had happened. We were completely shocked. He was fast getting us out of there, but lets just say that he didn't get a great tip.

I couldn't believe it. Both of us were completely flabberghast. We just sat in shock. I will not be going back to Olive Garden for a while. That's for sure. :)

Change

It's coming... I can feel it. Everything about my life is changing. It's exciting to see where it's going really. In a matter of a month, everything could be completely different.

End of Another Year

The Pool is officially closed. It feels so weird. I don't know entirely what to do now. When you go from craziness everyday to complete silence and no one around, it becomes a bit lonely. I love my job. I love all the challenges it brings, but I miss the pool when it's gone. Which is weird, I'm completely burnt out. I was getting to the point where I didn't want to show up to work anymore because I couldn't take another couple of minutes in that place. But now that it's gone, I miss it horribly. I miss all the guards, despite all the challenges they could bring, they make me smile. Seeing them each grow into the person they are becoming... it really is enriching. I miss it.