Tribute to Michael Scott

So a previously mentioned, I am a lifeguard. Being a lifeguard I am privy to many conversations that otherwise I would not be allowed in on. It is fun to sit on stand and watch people’s lives. I have to find a way to entertain myself while sitting on the stand, in fact I often make up soap operas in my head. Maybe I will fill you in on those later. However, a lot of the time, I just overhear phrases that often make me laugh. What some people say… sometimes you just have to wonder if they are just darn near stupid. Often lines are translated into a Michael Scott references “that’s what she said” (though sometimes I change it to that’s what HE said). Some are better than others obviously, but I’m going to start with just a few.

One day I was sitting on stand, and I see this family playing together and they have a fairly large inner tube. They are playing around putting the babies up on it (now tubing isn’t extremely fun seeing as we just have a pool, no slides that allow tubes or anything). Well I was watching them and I see one of the boys look at his friend and say, climb up on that. Now these are not big boys, they are kind of small probably 6 or 7. So the boy looks over and says “Awe man… you want me to climb on that?!?” Haha… all I could think in my head was that’s what she said. Seriously… what else could you get from that?

Another scenario… Enter into a pool yet again (obviously). I’m teaching a lifeguarding class this time. Well these kids are learning how to do spinals. A spinal is when someone injures their head, neck or back. It is a long (supposed to be fast, but takes a while when teaching people) process that involves a lot of steps. So I explain all the steps once and show how it’s done with help and a volunteer to be the victim. After I’m finished explaining, I have them break in to groups. I go off to watch the first group. While they are attempting the seemingly impossible, the first rescuer makes his save. Then the second rescuer goes over to sink the board. While after trying unsuccessfully a few times, he looks at me and goes, “How the heck am I supposed to do this?” Haha… that’s what she/he said!

Okay so I definitely saved the best one for last. Once again we are doing spinal saves, but this time I’m just recertifying lifeguards that have been at this for a while, there was not a huge need for explanations. I was watching them to make sure everything was being done right. I am good friends with all of these people because I work them. Well as the girls are about to pull the board out of the water, another lifeguard looks at them and says, “Would you like me to be the third and get on the back?” Okay… say it with me now… That’s What He Said!!!! Seriously… that is the only thing you could get from that. Okay so honestly, I yelled it this time, I couldn’t hold it in. :)